The Guilt of Queens
by caldera32
Summary: "I know, Merlin." (Things happen a little bit differently after "With All My Heart")
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So here's the story I've been writing. I wanted to wait until it was complete to post, but here I am putting up the intro anyway. This is for a challenge over on HoC and is an expansion of a drabble by the same name (the original can be found in my "Glimpses" collection, chapter 15). The cover was made by LadyHeatherlly.  
Please enjoy :)

* * *

Arthur clutched his wife to his chest as she shuddered in her sleep, rest fitful for the second night since returning from the Cauldron.

Guinevere had been her normal self after leaving the waters, showing no indication of remembering what had happened since her capture by Morgana- until distressed cries woke her husband a few hours after dark had fallen. Upon waking, the queen had once more been cheerful, though there had been a glimmer of uncertainty in her eyes, particularly when she had looked at Merlin or Arthur.

As the nightmares grew more violent the king tried again to wake her- previous efforts having been fruitless. Whether it was his calls that roused her or the terror, Arthur felt hands grip his shoulders with bruising force, nails biting into tender flesh.

"Guinevere?"

Sobbing was the only reply as tears wet his bare chest.

"Shhh, shh... it's alright; I've got you. You're safe at home," Arthur murmured soothing assurances until his wife began to calm. Then she pulled away abruptly.

"What's wrong?"

"How... how c-can you even _look _at me?"

"What?"

Guinevere was clearly confused and more than a little bit fearful, beginning to leave the bed until Arthur pulled her back in. She went rigid in his grasp as if expecting pain.

"Look at me. What are you talking about?" He tried his best to be gentle, turning her head and staring into her wide brown eyes.

"I tried to kill you, Arthur!"

"That was Morgana."

"But I remember it- sneaking out to meet with her, giving her information, _poisoning _you!"

"Guinevere," he took her hands, kissing each in turn. "None of it was your fault; don't let Morgana's evil come between us. We can get through this together. "

Pleading blue eyes met hopeful brown which swiftly filled with new tears.  
"But you don't know what I did! To you, to Merlin-"

"Merlin?"

"Merlin!" The queen threw herself out of bed, grabbing an overdress that had been hastily discarded earlier in the evening and shoving her arms through the sleeves as she rushed toward the door.

Shock only delayed him for a moment and Arthur managed to catch his wife before she went dashing through the castle half-dressed in the middle of the night.

"Merlin is fine, no doubt sleeping peacefully this very moment."

Guinevere stopped trying to pull out of his grasp, finally considering what time it was and blushing at her rashness.

"Now are you going to tell me what this is about?"

"Morgana; she tried to kill Merlin."

Arthur's blood ran cold. "What?"

"I- I helped a boy sneak in and he lured Merlin out while Sarrum was here- you remember he was missing?" The blond nodded dumbly. "He... Morgana poisoned him. He was dying and I told you he went to see a girl."

The king was too shocked to reassure his wife when she began sobbing once more.

"How did he survive?" He wondered aloud. The only sign that Merlin had been any worse the wear had been a limp; one that disappeared shortly after Arthur commented on it.

"I don't know... but Morgana was furious. She hates him, Arthur- what if she tries again?" She looked up, wide-eyed, as this last thought occurred to her.

Arthur hugged her tightly, burying his face in her hair.

"I won't let her succeed."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey guys! I meant to put this up last night, but my computer decided to crash and burn. I had to wipe the whole thing :(  
Luckily I managed to salvage a few key files- such as this story ;)

* * *

Arthur awoke to empty arms, Guinevere having crept out of bed as soon as light peaked around the curtains. Speaking of, the curtains were still closed despite the sun now being strong enough to brighten the room. Where was Merlin?  
_  
"She hates him, Arthur- what if she tries again?"_

Fear propelled the king out of bed. He roughly pulled on a pair of boots, strapped his sword to his hip, and grabbed a shirt on his way out, wrestling the tunic over his head as he rushed down the corridor.

Finding nothing amiss along his route, Arthur paused to compose himself a bit before entering the physician's chamber.

"Gaius?" He called, not seeing the man.

Merlin's door opened slowly and the elder descended the short staircase with care. Arthur caught a glimpse of his wife in the back room before the door swung shut.

"Sire, I apologize. I should have sent another servant to see to your needs-"

"What's happened?" The royal interrupted, peering over the other's shoulder as if he could see through the wood and wall.

"I'm sorry, Sire, but it appears Merlin is exhausted. The stress of the past few days has left him in want of rest. He should be able to return to work tomorrow."

The king's brow furrowed. "Are you certain that is all? He did fall from a cliff during our trip, and-" his eyes flicked to the back room, voice lowering, "Guinevere tells me Morgana poisoned him during his absence."

Gaius' eyebrows ascended, mouth falling open for a moment before closing in a frown.

His muttered response was too low for Arthur to be certain, but it sounded like "he used to tell me these things".

"Thank you, My Lord. That will have added to the burden on his body, but I still believe he is in no danger. I will examine him again to be certain, but there is no need for concern."

"Well," the king cleared his throat, "I'm hardly worried. It was Guinevere who- she is back there, yes?"

The physician allowed the subject to be changed, nodding in agreement.  
"Her Majesty arrived shortly after first light and has been tending to Merlin since."

"She blames herself," the blond admitted.

Gaius clasped his hands and straightened his back in what Arthur thought of as his 'lecturing pose'.  
"There is no fault in her. The enchantment put Morgana in control of her thoughts and actions; she had no chance to resist."

"I'm not the one you need to convince, Gaius," Arthur soothed.

The elder sighed, deflating as he glanced behind himself.  
"It will likely take her some time to come to terms with what she remembers. I would offer a sleeping draught, but it would only make it more difficult to awaken her from the memories."

Arthur bowed his head and rubbed his face, grimacing.  
"I can never forgive her, Gaius. How could she do this? She and Guinevere were friends!"

"Fear can cause terrible changes in a person, Sire."

The monarch frowned and was about to speak when the queen emerged from Merlin's room. Her eyes were red and she seemed slightly startled to see the two standing there.

"Arthur! I didn't hear you..."

"Guinevere..." He pulled her into a tight embrace, burying one hand in her thick hair and rubbing her back with the other. "He'll be okay," he murmured as she sniffled against his chest.

"This is all my fault; if I hadn't-"

Arthur kissed the top of her head. "I'll keep saying this until you believe it. None of this is your fault. It is Morgana's guilt to bear."

"But if I hadn't been enchanted you never would have gone on that trip and he wouldn't have fallen off the cliff and-"

"Shhh. If anything, _I_ am to blame for that as I made him carry all the bags." He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat as he saw the truth in that statement. Had he been the one to run Merlin into the ground?

"No, Arthur, I-"

"Neither of you are to blame," Gaius interrupted from his writing desk, where he'd been leafing through a tome and pretending he wasn't present. "Merlin has been taking on too much as of late. It was only a matter of time before it caught up to him."

"So it _is_ my fault," the king frowned.

"I won't say that you couldn't be a bit more considerate toward Merlin; but this is not your doing."

"I-"

"Sire!" A guard burst into the chambers. "Refugees are arriving from the Western garrison- Helva has been attacked!"

Arthur left quickly with the guard, striding purposefully toward the courtyard. Guinevere cast a glance toward the back room before following her husband, Gaius close behind with his kit.

* * *

Two dozen. Only two dozen had survived to flee Odin's lands after the mysterious attack.

The refugees were confused and could shed little light on who had instigated the attack except that magic had been involved. Which was really all the information Arthur needed.

"Why would Morgana attack Helva?" He wondered aloud. "It is one of the few places magic is practiced freely."

Sir Leon, overhearing, shook his head. "Perhaps she is looking for some sort of magical artifact- or they refused to join her?"

The monarch nodded absently. "See if you can get any more answers from these people- but be gentle. We want to help them, not add to their distress."

The knight gave a quick bow and set to work immediately while Arthur went to his queen's side.

"I'm sorry to ask this of you, my love, but could you tell me everything you remember of Morgana's actions? It could help us discover her plan."

Guinevere nodded, only slightly shaky, and the two retired to their chambers for some privacy.

* * *

Arthur leaned heavily on the table, both hands bracing his bowed head.

Yes, he had had an idea of what had gone on during the past several weeks, but hearing it from his wife had a much stronger impact than his basic knowledge.

Guinevere had stared at her hands in horror as she relayed how she'd murdered Tyr in his cell; tears flowed freely when she described the poisons she had given Arthur and how she'd seized the perfect opportunity to be rid of Merlin as well- implicating him in the deed.

Her voice was hushed and rough by the time she described the trap Morgana had set for Merlin, playing on his compassion and leaving him to suffer alone whilst she and Sarrum conspired.

The warrior took a few moments to comfort his wife before shoving aside the emotions of the situation, trying to approach the information logically.

"Why did she go through all that trouble to draw out Merlin?" She'd put much more effort into it than the attempt on his own life; going so far as to personally pour the poison down his manservant's throat.

"I- I didn't question it. More than once she said that he had 'ruined her plans too many times before' and 'she needed him out of the way' before making an attempt on your life. I can't tell you more than that," she concluded, a thoughtful look making her gaze grow distant.

Arthur nodded.

"Thank you, Guinevere. I know that must have been difficult for you." He kissed her forehead and rubbed her shoulders before giving her a quick hug. "Now, I'll be discussing this with the council. Perhaps you should go back and check on Merlin?"

The queen bit her lip. As much as she _wanted _to do that, she knew her duties lay elsewhere.  
"No... I'll assist with the care and placement of the refugees. Send for me when you're finished?"

"Of course," he favored her with a wide smile and another kiss before leaving.

Gwen exhaled heavily, taking a moment to gather herself before straightening and heading back to the courtyard.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Just a little scene for now. The next chapter is a long one (for me). Well, it looks long in Open Office anyway ;)

* * *

It was a long day of circular discussion before Arthur returned to visit Merlin.

Gaius was out when he arrived so the monarch let himself in, settling beside his friend and watching the slight rise and fall of the blankets which was the only movement in evidence.

The servant's face was still drawn and a bit pale despite a full day's rest; the king clasped his hands as his brow furrowed in worry. Was this really nothing more than exhaustion? But no, Gaius would not have left his ward alone if it were anything more.

As often as he had wished for it, Arthur found a quiet Merlin to be rather disturbing and wound up looking about the humble chamber that had originally been Gaius' storeroom (and still was, judging by the barrels and sacks occupying one corner).

It had changed little since Arthur had first seen it during an official search soon after the peasant's arrival. Merlin's meager supply of clothing was strewn about the floor, his boots having been carelessly kicked off at the foot of the bed. The only additions the royal noticed were on and around the modest desk under the window.

A rather fine quill and ink set rested there along with a half-completed illustration of some sort of plant. Finished drawings adorned the wall, haphazardly tacked there with gum arabic- a jar of which lay sideways on the window ledge, spilling pieces of hardened sap onto the desk and floorboards.

Arthur was impressed despite himself. He could only name one or two of the flowers, but all of the plants looked familiar and the details were spectacular. The milfoil seemed as if it actually had a thousand leaves.

A sound in the main chamber alerted him to Gaius' presence and he stood, only to have the physician come to him.

"I thought you might be here," the old man stated, setting down a tray with two bowls of stew alongside a plate from the castle kitchens. "Here," he passed the sumptuous dinner of roast chicken to the king and set aside his own bowl of humble vegetable stew before moving to wake his ward.

The twinge of guilt over the disparity between their meals didn't have time to develop as Merlin opened his eyes, grumbling incoherently.

"How do you feel?" Arthur asked.

Gaius' eyebrow rose at this usurpation of his usual role, but allowed his sovereign's gentle inquisition to continue.

"Arthur? What are you- am I late?" His face was screwed up in sleepy confusion, eyes squinting in the candlelight.

"So late that it's dinner time. Now, how are you feeling?"

"Ah... tired?" Though clearly still perplexed, the smell of the food now being offered caused him to perk up. "And hungry!"

Arthur suppressed a chuckle as his friend promptly began shoveling the stew into his mouth. The meal was gone in only a few heartbeats but already Merlin was drooping, eyes closing despite himself.

"So, what do you need me to do, Sire?"

The king's eyes rolled at this question, delivered with a yawn.  
"Nevermind that, idiot. You're clearly incapable of anything aside from warming your own bedclothes."

Merlin hummed in agreement, happily settling back underneath his blankets and returning to sleep. Monarch and physician retired to the main chamber to eat their own meals, speaking in hushed tones.

"Are you certain he'll be fit to work tomorrow?"

Gaius hid his surprise with a mournful look down at his bowl, where a piece of bread had grown too soggy and broken off in the stew.

"He was rather more worn out than I expected, My Lord. Another day certainly wouldn't hurt."

"Then he shall have it."

The elder let out a soft cry of dismay as another hunk of bread splashed into the bowl.

"I'll come see him in the morning. Let him know he has as much time as he needs," Arthur proclaimed, rising from the table and calling a servant in to remove his plate.

By the time the physician recovered from his shock the remainder of his bread was lost.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I promise this was 5 pages on my screen -_-. Whatever. 'Nother chapter tonight, probably.

* * *

Morning found the king and queen back in the physician's chambers.

"Ah, Your Majesties, I was just about to check on him," Gaius greets them, turning to knock softly on the back door. "Merlin? Are you awake?"

Receiving no answer, he pushed open the door and stopped abruptly.

"What is it, Gaius?" Guinevere asked, worry tinging her tone.

"He's not here," came the faint reply, Gaius quickly making his way toward the corridor.

"What?" Arthur peered into the storeroom and, confirming it was lacking its inhabitant, followed the physician. There had been no sign of a struggle, only the usual mess of his friend moving about. His nightclothes had also been left on the bed, leading Arthur to believe the idiot had left of his own volition.

"Guards!" Two soldiers appeared from below, bowing to their sovereign. "Have you seen my servant this morning?" The pair responded in the negative. "Be on the lookout. If you see him, he is to be returned to his bed, understood? Pass the word."

Without a backward glance the king walked away, trying to figure out where the younger man would have gone.

"I'll check our chambers," Guinevere stated, rushing off in a flurry of skirts. Gaius had long since disappeared.

Not having any better ideas, Arthur began moving toward the center of the castle, occasionally looking out the windows in hopes of catching him in the courtyard. And that is how he found Merlin.

The servant leaned slightly against one wall, staring at the refugee camp on the flagstones below.

Arthur tamped down his annoyance upon noticing how weak the man still looked, and that he was once again favoring one leg. Taking advantage of the servant's distraction, the king swiftly stepped forward and yanked up one trouser leg, revealing the injury beneath and inspiring a surprised squawk.

"What is this?" He gestured to the bandage Merlin was hastily re-covering. The younger man stared back, open-mouthed in astonishment.

"Sire- what? Do you need something? I thought I had the day off!"

"You have the day off _to rest_- which you are not doing. Now, answer my question."

"It, ah... happened when I fell off the cliff?"

"Ignoring everything else wrong with that excuse- that occurred _after _I commented on your limp."

Merlin was starting to have the look of a cornered animal, eyes darting about for some avenue of escape. Arthur decided to have mercy.

"Guinevere remembered, Merlin. She told me about Morgana and the... the poison."

The other man blinked, clearly not knowing how to respond, and Arthur sighed.

"You should have told me, Merlin- or at least Gaius. Clearly you haven't fully recovered even now."

"I'm _fine_," the servant responded, bristling.

"Oh yes, I can see that by the way you can't stand without leaning on the wall."

"Can so!" He pushed away from the support, wincing as he put a bit too much pressure on his injured leg.

"Idiot," Arthur murmured, stepping forward and looping one arm around his friend's shoulders. "Back to bed with you."

"Arthur..." the servant groaned, but allowed himself to be steered down the corridor. "Those people in the courtyard- what happened?"

The king debated not sharing the information, but Merlin might actually have some insight to provide.

"There was an attack on Helva. We believe Morgana to be involved."

"Why would Morgana attack Helva? It's one of the few places magic is practiced freely!"

"Which was my reaction exactly."

Both are silent for several steps, contemplating the possibilities.

"Perhaps she's looking for someone?" Merlin suggests, immediately wishing he could take it back. _She's probably looking for me- well, 'Emrys'..._

Arthur nodded. "There is the possibility she was looking for allies, or information."

Merlin stumbled and would have fallen if it hadn't been for Arthur's supporting arm.

"And here I thought you'd outgrown your clumsiness," he teased, shouldering open the infirmary door and depositing Merlin at the table where breakfast was waiting.

The servant muttered a response too low to be understood and began helping himself to the porridge. The monarch rolled his eyes and called the guards up once more.

"Let Gaius and the queen know that Merlin has returned."

"Yes, Sire," the pair nodded and bowed out.

"Once you're done eating I expect you to _stay here_. You look half dead. I don't know why you even went out."

"Says the clotpole who goes on quests with mortal wounds."

"That was _one _time- and they were hardly 'mortal'."

"They _would _have been without Balinor's help."

The name had come out strangely, but Arthur thought little of it. Just another sign of his friend's fatigue.

"That hardly matters now. You-"

"Merlin!"

Gaius bustled over to the table, giving his ward a quick examination.

"Where have you been?" He demanded; annoyed now that all was well.

"I just had to get out a bit- I would have been back soon on my own."

"You shouldn't have been out at all," the elder reprimanded, eyebrows bunching up in disapproval.

Merlin rolled his eyes and stood, "Fine, I'll just get back to my little lie-in then, shall I?" He only wavered slightly on the way back to his bed, shutting the door firmly behind him.

The two in the main chamber sighed in exasperation.

"He's such a-"

"Merlin!"

This time Arthur was interrupted by his wife bursting through the door.

"Is he alright?"

"He's fine, Guinevere," he soothed, "just stubborn."

"May I see him?" She looked to Gaius, eyes pleading.

The elder was about to refuse, but took pity on his queen.

"Go ahead; just make sure he stays in bed."

"Of course, Gaius," she swallowed, suddenly reluctant to face her friend. Arthur gave her shoulder a squeeze and smiled encouragingly. Her answering smile was a bit wan, but her stride was confident as she approached the back door and knocked.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I have no idea why everyone expects this to be more than simple exhaustion. That sort of thing doesn't just disappear after a day's rest, you know. *innocent look* But no, really, that's all that's wrong with him... _for now_... *evil laughter*

Yes, I could've combined this with the other chapter, but I didn't feel like it at the time :p  
Anyway, this will likely have a lot of tiny chapters, but there will be longer ones on occasion. That's just the way I roll, and the frequent updates should ease the pain, I think ;)

* * *

_She approached the back door and knocked._

"I'm resting!" Was the petulant reply.

"Merlin? It's Gwen; I was hoping we could talk."

"Gwen! Ah, come in!"

There were some odd rustling noises, but all was in order when she opened the door. Well, Merlin's version of order.

"Were you out of bed?" She challenged, not at all happy with how worn down her friend still looked.

"No, of course I wasn't out of bed. Why would I be out of bed? Come, have a seat," he waved at the stool beside his cot and the queen made her way to it, closing the door behind her.

They sat in silence, Merlin watching his friend as she stared down at her clasped hands.

"I- I wanted to apologize for the poison... and everything else I did."

"My Lady-"

"I'm so sorry, Merlin; I don't know how I can ever-"

"Shhh, Gwen, it isn't your fault- it's Morgana's."

"But I accused you of treason- you almost _died _because of me!"

"No, _not _you. Gwen, look at me. Do you remember when I had that snake in my neck?"

Her grimace clearly said she did.

"_I_ tried to kill Arthur. Several times! Do you blame me for that?"

"No! Merlin, I could never-"

"Just as we would never blame you for this. You were enchanted."

The queen calmed, a question coming out in a shaky whisper, "And why am I not now?"  
This was hardly the best time for confrontation, but she had to know before her own speculations drove her mad. The servant opened his mouth to answer but Guinevere beat him to it.

"I know, Merlin. _I know_."

"What?" The word was barely audible, the speaker too shocked for anything more.

The queen rose and peeked through a gap in the door, pleased to find Arthur gone and Gaius busy at his workbench.

"Morgana is so concerned about you, but even she doesn't realize, does she?"

The warlock was completed confused by this sudden turn, but managed to stutter out a "realize w-what?".

"Arthur may refuse to see it, but how could I fail to recognize you- as close as we were?" A hesitant smile lit her face. "Even if you _were _wearing a dress."

"But- why didn't you say anything?"

"It took me a little while- to put together the memories of my time with Morgana and the familiar eyes of the sorceress who saved me." She knelt by the bed where Merlin had pressed himself back against the wall without conscious thought.

"It's alright, Merlin. I'm not going to tell anyone if you don't want me to." She smoothed some sweaty hair back from his forehead, drawing back when he flinched at the contact.

"I'm sorry," she clasped her hands again, back to feeling guilty.

"No... you've nothing to be sorry for. I just- this is a lot to take in. No one has ever- it's just Gaius and my mother who know, really, and I- well, there are a few, but they don't- I mean-"

"Shhh," Gwen reached forward and gently extracted Merlin's hands from where they pulled at his hair. "I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you, and I appreciate what you've done. Thank you, Merlin."

She favored him with a warm smile, which he slowly returned.

"Thank you, Gwen- for accepting me."

"Oh, Merlin. How could I not?"


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I forgot to mention it earlier, but I'm sure at least some of you have noticed. I'm using quotes from the show throughout this piece, most of them intact but some slightly adjusted. (So if anything sounds a bit weird it's probably original dialogue ;p)

Nance: Thank you :) And thanks for the call out. They were/are referred to as quill pens, but I still can't believe I just said 'pen' like that. For shame. And yes, they will be telling Arthur 'everything' from now on... ha... ha... ;) I feel that Gwen would have figured it out sooner; guess I'll just have to blame that distracting romantic subplot. I do miss their friendship from the earlier seasons.

* * *

Merlin woke to tapping outside his window.

Hauling his protesting body from the mattress, he opened the shutter to reveal a raven which hopped inside and offered its leg.

"What-" a small roll of parchment had been tied there. As soon as he removed it the bird flew off, nearly hitting him in its haste to depart. Unrolling the parchment, he found this brief message:

_My Lord,  
I have information of great import to give you about Arthur's future.  
Please meet me in the temple ruins tonight._

A drawing of nine interlocking squares was the only signature.

Merlin stared at the missive, wondering who could possibly have sent it. The sun was already beginning to set, leaving little time for deliberation.

"Gaius?" He called, still frowning at the parchment when the physician arrived.

"What is it, my boy?"

"This just-" it suddenly occurred to him that he'd not checked if anyone else was present, his momentary panic quickly disappearing once he saw the empty space beyond his door. "A raven delivered this message a moment ago."

Gaius took the note, squinting at it.  
"If this is what I think it is, this is the mark of the Bendruy."

"Bendruy?"

"Before the time of the Great Purge, girls would be chosen at birth for the priesthood. They would be taken away from their families and brought up as initiates in the old religion."

Merlin frowned. "I thought Morgana was the only high priestess left."

"Many tried, few succeeded." Gaius affirmed. "Ordinary gifts were not enough. Only those with exceptional magical power could ever hope to be one of the nine, but do not underestimate this woman's abilities. All Bendruy are practiced in potent magic."

The warlock nodded absently, reclaiming the note.  
"Could this 'information' be what Morgana was after?"

The old man stared at his ward.  
"You cannot be thinking about meeting this woman?"

"Shouldn't I at least take a look? What if this information could prevent Arthur's downfall?"

"We don't even know who actually sent this, Merlin. This could be a trap!"

"Look at how it's addressed, Gaius- 'My Lord'. Only people who know I'm Emrys call me that."

"And what if that is what Morgana was looking for in Helva- the identity of Emrys? What if she found it? Someone is trying to remove you from the safety of Camelot's walls."

Merlin didn't even pause to appreciate the irony of that statement.  
"If this can help me defend Arthur I must go."

"Don't you understand? If something happened to you we would all be lost! Did you learn nothing from the incident with that boy and his false sister?"

The servant flinched, but held his ground.  
"If she can truly help me protect Arthur and I refuse to go, would all not be lost then too?"

"Merlin, you are not recovered enough to do this. Please, if ever you held me in any regard, do not go."

Merlin sat on the bed, head in his hands. "You know I'd never do anything to hurt you, Gaius."

"Thank you," the physician patted his ward reassuringly. "Now, I've made your favorite for dinner; stay here and I'll bring it up to you."

* * *

He waited until he heard his mentor's gentle snores to sneak out, slipping past the guards as easily as he ever had despite being slightly slower than usual. He approached the ruins with caution, observing the woman waiting there.

She was older- matronly, even. Her dull homespun clothes spoke of a simple life spent in obscurity, not battle. As he watched she knelt down in prayer before the overgrown altar, sending silent supplications to the goddess.

Merlin left his cover, walking silently until he was only a short distance from her.

"Great one!" She cried, turning to bow to him.

"Please, that's not necessary," he replied, taken aback by her fervor.

"It is an honor to meet you, Emrys."

The adoration shining from her face made him distinctly uncomfortable.  
"How did you know my name?"

"From my master, Alator of the Catha. He sends you greetings, but also a warning. The great battle nears, the fate of Camelot rests in the balance. Only you, Emrys, can ensure the triumph of the Once and Future King."

"How do I do that?"

The elder stood, withdrawing a small silver box from her robes.  
"For hundreds of years the Catha have guarded their ancient knowledge, but now the time has come to pass it on to you, Emrys. Only you can carry their hopes into the great battle itself."

Merlin surveyed the intricately-carved container in his hands.

"That will help you in the dark days to come," she nodded toward the box. "And there's something else, something Alator himself wanted me to tell you: do not make the same mistake as Arthur. Do not trust the Druid boy."

The warlock nodded.  
"Why did Alator not come himself?"

The woman's gaze dropped to the ground.  
"He has been captured by Morgana."

"What?" So that was what Morgana had been after in Helva- and she'd gotten it.

"Do not fear, Emrys. He will not divulge your secret to the witch."

"That's-" he hadn't even _thought _about that... "Shouldn't we be planning a rescue? Morgana will kill him!"

"If she has not done so already," the sorceress agreed.

"How can you be so calm about this?"

"It is his destiny, Emrys, to serve you until the end. He wishes for nothing more- the same as I."

Merlin frowned.  
"No. I can't accept this. Do you know where he is being held?"

"It is no use, Emrys, he-" his expression echoed her own pain at the loss of her master, breaking her resolve. She sighed. "I... could discover it."

A slight smile of relief lit Merlin's face.  
"Thank you- what is your name?"

"Finna, My Lord."

"Thank you, Finna," he clasped her hand, eyes warm with gratitude. "I must return now, but I will find you tomorrow."

"I will await your arrival."

Finna curtseyed as Merlin ran back into the night.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm just going to apologize now. Sorry! *runs and hides*

* * *

"Can you read it?" Merlin asked, impatient but trying to remain respectful. Gaius was angry enough after finding out his ward had gone out regardless of their earlier discussion.

"Just a moment," the physician replied, studying the writing. "This is in Catha," he remarked absently. "It's been long since I've _heard _the language, never mind read it."

Merlin gripped his knees underneath the table, resisting the urge to rush his mentor. It seemed an age the elder spent soundlessly mouthing the words before finally beginning to speak.

"'Let loose the hounds of war. Let the dreadfire of the last priestess rain down from angry skies. For brother will slaughter brother, friend will murder friend, as the great horn sounds a cold dawn at Camlann. The prophets do not lie. There Arthur will meet his end, upon that mighty plain.'"

Silence reigned as Gaius completed his translation. Merlin had closed his eyes, lips pressed into a thin line.

"I think I know what's going through your mind, Merlin; that your destiny is too much for one man to bear."

The warlock let out a humorless chuckle.  
"Yes. You always did know me best, Gaius."

The elder reached over and grasped his surrogate son's shoulder, pinning him with a serious gaze.  
"Be assured of one thing: there was never anyone more capable than you, Merlin. You will not fail."

"Thanks, Gaius." The servant smiled softly before reclaiming the prophecy and tucking it away in its case. "Now I just have to make sure that Alator doesn't pay for this with his life."

"Merlin! You can't seriously be planning to confront Morgana! Alator is likely already dead!"

The younger nodded, "That may be, but I can't just give up on him. And who said anything about confronting Morgana?"

"Merlin-"

"It'll be alright, Gaius," a quirky grin lit his face, "I'll have an all-powerful Bendruy with me." He rose and made his exit before the physician could argue further, nearly crashing into Arthur who had been about to open the door.

"And where do you think _you're_ going?" The king challenged, throwing out an arm to stop his servant from simply walking past.

Merlin huffed.  
"I need to get out, Arthur. I've been in bed for two days now!" _As far as you know..._

The huff was answered with rolling eyes.  
"Which is exactly why you shouldn't be going out."

Seeing the queen behind her husband, Merlin turned pleading eyes in her direction, hoping she'd understand his intentions.

"Now Arthur, surely some light exercise will be good for him. He can go to market with me, and maybe we could continue our conversation."

Arthur wavered. Guinevere had made a marked improvement since speaking with Merlin the previous day, and surely it would be fine as long as he didn't go far. He sighed.

"Very well," he kissed his wife and gave Merlin a stern gaze, "but be sure he doesn't exhaust himself again."

"'He' is right here," Merlin said peevishly.

"And 'he' is no more capable of caring for himself than a newborn."

"Yet I'm still ahead of you."

"I-"

"Boys!" Guinevere stepped between them and the bickering ceased immediately. She took Merlin's arm and began walking toward the stairs. "We'll be going now. It may be dark by the time we return so don't be alarmed."

The king frowned but nodded, calling after them.  
"Stay out of trouble!"

* * *

Merlin rode up to the temple ruins, dismounting when Finna failed to appear. He was about to call out when he noticed a symbol burnt into a nearby tree- two columns of three triangles, stacked point-to-base. Placing a hand on the marker he used his mind's eye to follow the woman's trail to a small camp.

Staggering a bit- that skill tended to leave him disoriented- he led his horse up a hill and along the path he'd seen.

"Master!" She cried as he came into view, bowing before him.

"Please don't," he reached down to pull her up. "Were you successful in locating Alator?"

"Yes, Morgana holds him in an abandoned castle not far from here."

"And he's still alive?"

"I am not certain."

Merlin frowned in worry.  
"Then we had best find out."

* * *

Finna and Merlin crouched in the shelter of a fallen column, peering through an ivy-covered window as Morgana confronted Alator, the pair of torturers being instructed to halt while they talked.

"Hello again, Alator."

The cold cruelty in her voice made the warlock shiver. Truly the Morgana he had befriended was long gone. The Catha looked at her, weak light revealing the marks of torture on his face.

"You continue to waste your time, Morgana. I'm a Catha priest."

"You think that will protect you?"

"No matter what you do, you cannot break me."

"So it would seem. In which case I have no further use for you."

Finna placed an arm in front of Merlin, stopping him from charging to the rescue.

"You think I fear death?"

"Shall I let you into a secret, Alator? I'm no longer interested in what you think or what you fear."

"I shall pass to the other world happy in the knowledge that you will never find Emrys. He is your destiny, Morgana, and he is your doom."

The witch's face twisted into an ugly snarl as she slapped the priest. Merlin felt as if it were he who had been hit. _Destiny and doom? What does that even mean? _Well, the 'doom' part was obvious enough.

"Mistress!" Another man rushed into the ruined throne room, bowing quickly before his queen.

"What now?"

"We found a letter in his cell."

Merlin felt Finna tense at those words.

"Show me," she stuck a hand out to accept the parchment and unrolled it. "Do not fear, Alator. I have found Emrys? Our sacred mission continues. Your faithful servant, Finna." A familiar smirk spread across her pale face. "You poor fool, Alator. Undone by a few scribbled words."

She turned to the message-bearer, snapping instructions.  
"Find this 'Finna'. Bring her to me- alive."

The men hastened to comply, none wanting to face her wrath. Merlin shifted forward, preparing to blow Morgana off her feet and rush in now that she was alone. Finna grabbed onto his shoulder, whispering into his ear.

"No, Master. She mustn't see you or she will know you are Emrys and all of this would have been for naught."

"I can't just-"

Morgana's icy tones interrupted them.  
"I will break her, Alator. Break her like a twig. How does it feel to know all your resistance is for nothing? Enjoy your other world."

Her eyes flashed and Merlin loosed a small cry at the crack of Alator's neck breaking.

"What was that?"

The eavesdroppers froze as a guard appeared, motioning to his fellows.

"I heard something over here!"

Finna stood, throwing up a hand and wordlessly forcing the men back before sweeping her cloak around Merlin.

"Quickly! You mustn't be revealed!"

The warlock tore his eyes from Alator's limp form, hunching to keep himself concealed in the shorter woman's voluminous garment.

He was just beginning to think they might have escaped when they stumbled into a small group of Saxons. Morgana's men or not he didn't know, but emulated Finna's earlier action and hurled them away with a flash of his eyes. Unfortunately, he missed one.

His companion took care of the last man, but not before the bolt found its mark.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Pressure's on; just a few more days and I will have caught up to my pre-written chapters *nervous chuckling*. Though I have written a fair bit since I started posting, so hopefully I'll be able to keep up the chapter a day posting pace.

My apologies if you got multiple alerts for this chapter- it kept posting chapter 4 instead of 8 even though I checked to make sure everything was named and assigned correctly. Mystifying. I tried replacing the chapter before deleting it but that didn't work (yes, I may simply not have waited long enough, I admit that). *shrugs*

Nance: Confession time. So, I'm writing this for a challenge on HoC which involved expanding on a drabble. I signed up for it and picked my drabble thinking 'perfect, this one is literally made to be expanded on'. I quickly discovered that this challenge is bad news since I consider my drabbles as complete works, self-contained for the most part. That being the case it was so hard for me to write this, the only way I could get past the beginning was to borrow from the episodes when my original intention for the storyline was to diverge completely. So here I am, using canon dialogue and killing off Alator. I did eventually get a new vision for the story- right about the time I was writing this chapter, in fact. That said, the situation with Alator was more of an 'it was all happening so fast and he was about to rush in, but Finna's interjection was just enough of a distraction to prevent his foolhardy rescue from taking place' sort of deal. Anyway, hope it starts coming together for you ;)

* * *

Finna held him as he slowly moved to touch the projectile lodged in his abdomen. "Lie back," she instructed, rather unnecessarily. She gave no warning before pulling the bolt out in one swift motion.

"Can you walk?" She asked, senses on alert for signs of pursuit.

"Yeah," he gasped. "Yeah, I think so."

Finna helped him to his feet, handing him a small branch to use as support while she steadied him on the opposite side.

"Where will we go?" Merlin asked, concentration greatly impaired by the pain and blood loss. He pressed a hand to the wound, grimacing at the contact.

"There is a watch tower on the other side of the valley. It's not very near, but it's safe."

"No," the warlock shook his head. "Camelot is closer. They don't know about any of this- it'll be safe for you there."

She wanted to object, but the sight of Emrys straining to hold himself upright and conscious swayed her.

"Very well."

The pair struggled onward, Merlin's strength continuing to wane until Finna was practically dragging him through the wood. She breathed a sigh of relief when the white walls of Camelot came into view.

"We are here, My Lord," she proclaimed. He didn't answer. "Emrys?"

Suddenly his full weight dragged her down, both of them sinking to the forest floor.

"Master!"

She gently slapped his cheeks but could raise no response from him. Frowning, she looked between the injured man and the gates. She would not be able to carry his full weight.

Hardening her resolve, she propped him up against a tree and made her way to the city gates.

* * *

Guinevere was in the physician's quarters, staying out of sight until Merlin returned, when a commotion erupted in the corridor and the door flew open.

"What's- Merlin!"

A pair of guards were carrying the slack body of her friend into the room, blood dripping from him to the floor as they made their way to the patient bed.

Gaius was right behind them, sending the two out as soon as they had delivered his patient.

"What happened?" The queen asked, grabbing a bucket of water and pouring the contents into a pot to boil.

"I don't know. The guards say a woman found him in the woods like this. He seems to have been shot with a crossbow."

She gasped as Gaius pulled back Merlin's shirt to reveal the ugly wound from which his lifeblood flowed.

"Gaius!"

The two turned to see Arthur in the doorway, eyes wild and chest heaving. Upon spotting his wife he swept her up in a tight embrace, releasing her quickly when he caught sight of his servant on the cot.

"What happened? The messenger only said that Merlin had been found, injured, in the forest," his gaze darted to his wife. "I thought perhaps you'd been taken again."

Guinevere pulled him back to her, drawing strength from his presence.  
"This is my fault," she gasped.

"What?" He asked, just as Gaius began explaining.

"A woman found him in the wood, Sire. He appears to have been shot with a crossbow." His voice was blunt and detached, the bulk of his attention on treating his ward. As the physician pressed a noxious-smelling cloth to the wound, Merlin's eyes opened and he grunted in pain.

"Merlin?" The king called, moving closer.

Spotting him, the servant made a weak grab for Arthur's arm. His fingers curled loosely around his master's sleeve as he wheezed out "Morgana". He had meant to say more, but his weakened state and Arthur's violent reaction to hearing his erstwhile sister's name cut the warning short.

"Morgana- she did this?" The warrior's fist impacted the bed frame, drawing a whimper and gasp from the patient. Arthur moved away to pace, calling in a guard and instructing him to inform Sir Leon of the situation and tell him to send men to investigate. He avoided looking at the bed where his friend was trying to curl in on himself but was no longer able to do so- though that didn't stop Gaius from reprimanding him.

The blood flow was finally slowing, but entirely too much had been lost if his ward's crimson-soaked shirt and trousers were any judge. Worry made him waspish and he snapped, "Lie still, Merlin!"

The young man did so, in an alarmingly swift and thorough manner.

"Gaius?" Gwen's tremulous voice inquired.

"He is only unconscious," the elder assured.

"He'll be alright?" Arthur stared at his friend's pale face. It didn't _look _like he'd be alright.

"I'm not entirely sure," the physician answered, rising to retrieve some herbs with worry plain on his wrinkled face.

The king felt lost. Merlin couldn't _die_. The mere _thought _was beyond his ability to accept. Guinevere sobbed into his chest, wetting his tunic.

"Sire, he will likely not wake for quite some time. Perhaps it would be best if you returned to your chambers for the night," the elder cast a significant glance at the distraught queen.

Arthur looked to his wife. It was dark now; they could have dinner and take an early night- not that either of them would be likely to sleep properly. Or he could personally hunt down Morgana by torchlight...

"You'll send word immediately if there's any change?"

"Of course, Sire," Gaius gave a slight bow, turning right back to his charge afterward.

The king nodded. "Extra guards will be posted outside your door. If you need anything..." The physician waved his understanding.

"Come, Guinevere," he steered his wife out the door, shielding her from prying eyes with his body.

* * *

They laid in bed together until Guinevere began to gather herself.

"What happened?" Arthur's soft question made her tense slightly, but still she answered.

"We didn't go to the market together," the queen took a deep breath before delivering the story Merlin and she had made up in case their lie was discovered. "He- he wanted to go to the forest to relax. You know how he is."

The king nodded. His servant was constantly finding excuses to disappear into the wood- that or the tavern.

"I offered to go with him but I... I was afraid, and he noticed." Confessing this hadn't been part of the plan, but it was true. Strong arms tightened around her.

"Did you see anyone approach him?" Maybe someone had been sent to lure him out as before- Merlin _would _be the sort of idiot to learn nothing from his poisoning.

"No," she buried her face in his chest. "I shouldn't have let him go alone."

"Shhh," he rubbed her back soothingly. "You couldn't have known. The forest should have been safe so close to the city- and Merlin should not have insisted on going out, no matter how restless he was."

Gwen's heaving breaths stilled, one final sigh escaping her.

"How did we come to this?" She asked, yearning for the days when Morgana had been the best of friends to them all.

"Fear changes people," Arthur said, kissing his wife's hair, "-and ambition."

Whatever answer the queen may have had for that would have to wait as she had successfully cried herself to sleep.

The monarch kissed her again, wondering when they would finally escape his sister's shadow.

* * *

Gaius worked tirelessly through the night; stitching the flesh together, propping Merlin up to ease his troubled breathing, keeping him warm, and checking the wound regularly. He swore upon noticing that the bruising around the site continued to grow. Merlin was bleeding internally.

He would have to risk it.

"**Ic hæle þina þrowunga,"** he intoned, voice gaining depth and strength with the magic infusing it.

His patient twinged and whimpered as two guards burst into the room, weapons drawn.

"Gaius! Is everything alright?" The taller of the pair inquired, both men looking about the chambers with suspicion.

The physician was clutching his chest, heart throbbing with surprise. Foolish of him to forget the guards on the door.

"Everything's fine," he replied, voice rather fainter than usual in his continued shock.

"Are you certain? It sounded like someone was casting spells in here," the shorter man said, eying the window as his compatriot checked the back room.

"Ah, that was-" he cast about for an excuse, spotting a medical tome nearby, "Latin!"

"Latin?"

"Yes, Latin," he opened the book to display the illuminated pages. "Language of the Romans. I was merely reading some passages from it to... calm my patient."

The guards exchanged a skeptical look, but nodded. Who were they to question the court physician's methods?

"Very well. We'll be just outside if you need us." They gave brief bows and returned to their posts.

Gaius let his breath out in one big gust, clutching the book to his chest and taking a moment to control his own breathing and heartbeat before checking his ward once more.

He wasn't certain with the stitches preventing a clear view, but it seemed the edges of the wound had joined together slightly. The bruising, however, had spread noticeably in the short time that exchange had taken. Had he somehow made the injury worse?

He stared at the door for only a moment before deciding he would just have to hazard another attempt.

Taking a deep breath, he gathered his strength and funneled it into the spell, focusing on keeping his voice low.

"**Ic hæle þina þrowunga!"**

The magic rushed out from him and into Merlin like a dam releasing water to be soaked up by parched earth.

The warlock shuddered as Gaius' strength failed and the physician fell into blackness.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I think I messed up the alert for the previous chapter by deleting and replacing it so if you didn't read a new one yesterday (or earlier today) you probably need to go back :)

Nance: If Finna were going to properly treat him then yes, she would leave the bolt in and secure it so it wouldn't move (since it's a bolt rather than an arrow there wouldn't be enough sticking out to break off) and then Merlin would be kept still until he could be helped. However, they were going to be gallivanting about the countryside so it had to be removed to prevent further damage. In real life this would have caused fantastic bleeding and he would have gone into shock, however, it seems we are to assume that Merlin is his usual superhuman self as this is what Finna did in the show and he was (relatively) fine to run about and climb a tower.

* * *

That was how Arthur found them the following morning.

"Gaius!" He called, fearing foul play upon finding the elder collapsed atop his ward.

The physician jolted awake, body heavy with exhaustion.  
"Wh- Sire!"

It took him a moment to remember the situation before he took a quick glance at Merlin's wound and pulled the blankets up to his boy's shoulders to conceal the mostly-healed puncture and bruises which had faded to yellow.

"Is everything alright?" The king asked, still not entirely reassured.

"Yes, My Lord. Forgive me, I must have drifted off," he kneaded his forehead, yawning.

"Of course. I apologize, Gaius; I should have sent someone to tend him while you rested."

"Not at all, Sire. I would much prefer to keep him in my sight."

"I agree with you there," the monarch murmured, distracted by the sight of his friend. The servant was still much paler than usual, but Arthur no longer felt the tightness in his chest that had assailed him the previous night. "He's looking a bit better."

Gaius nodded. "He has improved greatly; I'm quite pleased by his progress. He could wake any time."

"Good," he rubbed a hand across the slight stubble on his chin, not having shaved before coming.

"How is the queen?"

Arthur turned from the bed, breaking his one-sided staring contest.  
"Worn out. I should return now before she wakes, but we will likely come here after breakfast."

"Very well, Sire," Gaius bowed as the king made his exit.

* * *

Merlin was awake when the ruling couple came to visit, his mentor helping him sit up to eat some porridge and sip at an herbal tea.

Gaius excused himself, leaving his patient propped against some blankets before hefting his medical kit along with a basket of potions to deliver.

Guinevere greeted the servant warmly, hugging his shoulders to avoid upsetting the wound.  
"I'm so sorry, Merlin," she whispered into his hair.

"You've nothing to apologize for, Gwen," he spotted Arthur lurking by the door and tried to send him a silent message with his eyes, flicking his gaze back and forth between king and queen.

"Something wrong, Merlin?" The king inquired.

_Oblivious prat._

"Oh I just... I assume you'll be wanting to hear what happened?"

The warrior's mouth opened in a soundless 'O'.

_Now he gets it. Dollophead._

"Guinevere, perhaps-"

"No, Arthur," the queen perched on the stool by her friend's sickbed, "I want to know as well."

It was clear, even to Arthur, that she would not be moved from that spot. Pulling up a seat of his own, he settled in behind his wife and placed a supportive hand on her shoulder.

"So, you mentioned Morgana."

Merlin nodded, finishing off his tea before launching into the rather edited tale he and Gaius had concocted. Arthur would still disapprove, no doubt, but it was better than 'I went with a sorceress to rescue the man who tortured Gaius from Morgana, who was trying to get information from him about me, and then I got shot by some random thug'.

"I received a letter asking me to meet in the wood right outside the walls," he could see Arthur opening his mouth to object and plowed onward. "I wasn't going to go- I'm not a _complete _idiot..."

The king snorted, but allowed his servant to continue.

"...But I had this feeling, and the sender had information about Camelot's future, so I had to go- and it wasn't far. I was sure it would be safe."

"You and your _feelings_, Merlin..." the king growled, rising to pace once more. "So?"

"So it's a good thing I went," the warlock paused. Gaius hadn't liked this part of the tale, but Merlin felt it was the perfect opportunity to warn Arthur. "Morgana is about to declare war. She intends to force a confrontation at Camlann."

Both royals frowned, but saved their questions on that matter for later.

"And then?"

"We were interrupted; Saxons working with Morgana, I think. We split up and ran, but one of them shot me. I've no idea what happened after that."

Arthur sat, bracing elbows against knees and forehead atop clasped hands, contemplating this new information.

"Who was this person? Why could they not come to me with this information?"

"Well," Merlin shifted, wincing as his few remaining stitches pulled, "she was a traitor, Arthur. A deserter from Morgana's ranks. That's why Helva was attacked- to find her; she was afraid what would happen if she came to the castle. She seemed to believe that I, being your servant, would be able to discreetly pass on the information."

The king nodded absently, "And what of this 'Camlann'? I've never heard of it."

The servant shrugged. "Neither had I."

"This woman, you believe her to be trustworthy in this?"

"I do."

Arthur thought for only a moment more before rising, determination in his eyes.  
"I will bring this before the round table. Wherever this place is, we must avoid it if Morgana truly wants us to meet there," he glanced back at the man on the cot.

"Thank you, Merlin. We'll have a talk later about how much of an _idiot _you are, but for now I appreciate the information."

He swept out the door, leaving his wife and best friend to visit.

Guinevere spent some time just watching him as if deciding whether or not he was up for further interaction. Eventually she scooted her stool closer to the bed, leaning in conspiratorially.

"So what really happened?"

Merlin sighed.  
"What I told Arthur was mostly true, just... incomplete."

As he quietly shared the tale of his meetings with Finna and the death of Alator, the queen's hand wrapped around the servant's without either of them consciously noticing. The warlock's gaze was forlorn as he finished.

"How many more people will die because of my secrets, Gwen? This is all my fault." He pulled away from his friend, feeling unworthy of comfort.

"No, Merlin, this is _not _your fault. Morgana killed Alator; she is the one to blame."

He was silent for a moment, head bowed, before letting out a humorless chuckle.  
"Looks like we've reversed sides."

He met her eyes with his own watery pair, sniffing softly.

Realizing she had just told Merlin the very thing he and Arthur had been telling her, a wan smile stole across her face before she wrapped her arms around him once more. Both friends had wet shoulders before long. Gwen laughed despite the tears.

"What a pair we are."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I got rained on. It was a lot of water. That is all.

Nance: You should realiZe by now that you can't believe a word Moon says.

Guest: Thanks for the reviews! I hope you continue to enjoy the story :)

* * *

When Merlin next woke it was to the gentle clinking of glass as someone rooted through the cupboards.

"Gaius?" He mumbled, reluctant to look. The noise stopped immediately and his eyes popped open to find Mordred with an armload of potions and other supplies. "Mordred?"

"I'm... sorry to disturb you, Merlin. There was... I found an injured girl but Gaius wasn't here..."

The warlock watched the younger man with suspicion.  
"Who is she?"

"Just a girl."

"Who is she _to you_?"

The knight hesitated for a moment before his worry won out.  
"She's a druid. I- I knew her. Please, Merlin, she's got an arrow in her leg- she can't walk. I need to get back to her."

"You're taking a risk."

"I can't let her die. She's someone... I can't explain," Mordred shifted uncomfortably.

"Where is she?"

"She needs a few days and then she'll be gone. She means no harm! Please, you mustn't tell anyone. You know if Arthur catches her she'll be killed. Please, Merlin, I beg you." His voice lowers and a tear is threatening to fall from one eye. "She's one of us. _Promise me_."

Finna's warning echoed in his mind, but he knew that look- that desperation.  
"You'll need bandages, and that green potion in your hand." He flicked a glance toward the closed door and whispered, "How is your healing magic?"

The Druid looked startled, but responded in kind.  
"I'm afraid I haven't the knack for it."

Merlin nodded.  
"Then take the thread kit there, and the brown bottle to disinfect the wound. Give her the potion before you start. If she's well-hidden you can give her that purple one to put her to sleep afterward."

Mordred nodded gratefully, gathering the indicated supplies and haphazardly piling the others he'd taken on a shelf, preparing to leave.

"And Mordred?"

He turned, brow arched in question.

"If you really..." the warlock's throat tightened a bit, but he pushed onward. "If you love her, you shouldn't let her out of your sight," he advised, hoping the younger man would understand what he was really saying.

Mordred frowned slightly, then nodded and swept out the door.

* * *

Guinevere entered her and Arthur's shared chambers to find him deep in thought at his desk, reports forgotten.

"Arthur?"

He glanced up, but didn't stir.

"What's wrong?"

"Sir Mordred..." he was staring out the far window now, not even noticing that he hadn't completed his explanation.

"What about Mordred?" She prompted.

"He asked to leave; said he'd been reunited with a long-lost love."

"Well isn't that good?" The queen asked, confused as to why Arthur was behaving this way.

"He's leaving permanently, Guinevere. He didn't say it outright, but I got the impression she wouldn't feel safe here." His gaze shifted, finally looking directly into his wife's eyes. "I thought I was building a good kingdom- one where anyone would feel welcome- but one of my own knights doesn't even feel that he can raise a family here?"

He rose and turned to the balcony windows, hands raking through his hair.

"Where have I gone wrong?"

"No, Arthur..." she came up behind him, massaging his shoulders. "Camelot is already many times what it was when your father was king and it continues to grow better. You cannot change the hearts of others so quickly. You only ended the official persecution of Druids a few years ago, there is bound to be prejudice that remains."

"Druids? What do they have to do with this?" he turned, capturing her hands and intertwining them with his.

"Oh, you said she was a long-lost love, I just assumed it was from his time with the Druids."

Arthur looked as if he'd been slapped in the face.

"Of course, I'd nearly forgotten..."  
He'd found it hard to reconcile the strong, outgoing man with the injured, withdrawn child he'd rescued all those years ago- to the point he rarely ever thought of them as the same person.

"Arthur?"

The king drew himself up, shaking the dark mood to smile at his wife.  
"Thank you, Guinevere," he kissed her hands before drawing her in close. "I'd be lost without you."

"Oh stop," she swatted him lightly. "Now, no more brooding; come to bed."

That was one command he would happily follow.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Big thanks go out to all my reviewers- I love you all and you have kept me going at this fast pace :) Sorry if I miss some review replies, it's hard to keep up when they're coming in every day! Still, even if I don't reply, I am very grateful *hugs*

Also, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Nance: Yes.

* * *

Despite Merlin's insistence that he was perfectly able to start getting back to work, Gaius ordered him to remain on bed rest for at least a week- and the king was in full support.

"Honestly, Merlin, I can't have any more of you fainting all over the place. The people will think I'm working you to death!"

"I didn't even faint once! I-"

"And with Morgana's men so close to the city it's particularly unsafe for you." Arthur speared the servant with a meaningful glance, ignoring his protests.

"Arthur-"

"We're going to move you back to your own room- it's too easy for anyone to gain free access to this one- and I'll have a knight watching you at all times."

"No one has to move me, I can walk on my own- and isn't that a bit extreme? I don't need a nursemaid."

Merlin continued grumbling his complaints as the king motioned Percival into the room. The giant bent over and lifted the now-squawking servant, moving toward the back room and pausing when he realized they couldn't fit through the door together.

"Oh for- let me," the younger man wriggled from the knight's hold and walked to his cot, surprised when he collapsed onto it rather than simply sitting. Perhaps he was still a bit worn out...

Percival followed, grabbing the stool from beside the desk and settling in for his shift of Merlin-watching.

Arthur stood in the doorway, chuckling at Merlin's sour expression.

"Cheer up, Merlin! At least you won't be lonely!"

"I don't know, Arthur. Percival is probably going to talk my ear off," he grumbled, arms crossed as he glared fiercely at the floor.

He could hear the king's laughter echoing down the corridor well after he made his exit.

* * *

The week of enforced boredom was at its end and his wound was almost entirely healed (though Gaius made sure to keep it bandaged since this should not have been the case). Leon's investigation had turned up nothing but a camp Finna had probably used- the woman herself long since gone. Merlin was comforted by the fact that no signs of further trouble had been found.

He had not been allowed outside his chamber except when Gwaine watched him during council sessions (which kept both Arthur and Gaius occupied). Well, he wasn't allowed then either, but Gwaine couldn't resist his pleading.

That's normally what he'd be doing now, in fact, but Arthur had required all round table members to be present for today's war council. Morgana's troops had been on the move, crossing the northern border to attack the garrison at Stowell.

Thanks to Merlin's information, Arthur had located Camlann and deduced Morgana's likely course, evacuating as many citizens as possible from the area. The garrison had also received reinforcements, though it seems they had not been enough to stand up to sorcery. About half of the men had made it back to Camelot in various states of health. If nothing else, Merlin was glad his injury had prevented Gwaine from being at Stowell when it fell. The knight had been assigned to go but was permitted to stay and watch over him, helping in the siege preparations when not serving that function.

Arthur himself would be sure to come by after today's meeting, sharing the results and surreptitiously asking for Merlin's thoughts on the matter.

For now, however, he was stuck with Sir Berrick who stood stiff and silent by the door while Merlin tried to ignore his presence.

A board creaked in the main chamber and Berrick frowned, motioning for Merlin to remain in place while he investigated the disturbance. The servant rolled his eyes but complied.

Really. Even when Morgana was in the castle herself she hadn't made a move on him. Why would she do so now that he was under guard?

The knights had been driving him mad, insisting on treating every sound as a threat to his life.

_Oh well. Let them feel they're saving me from the big bad witch._

He went back to his book, not even bothering to monitor the knight's progress.

A soft grunt sounded from beyond his door, then nothing.

"Sir Berrick?" He called but received no response. Merlin began to think perhaps he should be worried. Slipping from his bed, he crept over to the door and peered through a crack in the planks. Seeing nothing only made him more alert.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he flung the door open and spun to view the corner Gaius usually slept in, just in time to see a man in dark leathers disposing of Sir Berrick there- dead, if his open eyes and lack of movement were any indication.

The assassin unhooked a box that had been strapped to his back, opening it to release some sort of creature that resembled nothing so much as a living pile of black mud.

Well, he could think of other comparisons, but they were even more unsavory.

The thing leapt directly for his face, sealing itself over his mouth, nose, and eyes.

Merlin panicked, clawing at the thing blocking his air and gaining no purchase. He had no thought to spare for the assassin until hands pushed him down and held his arms, the person's full weight settling on his chest. He kicked like mad for a few moments before his strength began to give out.

His magic, somehow forgotten in blind terror, gave an odd twist as consciousness left him.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Many of you will be happy to know that there will be some wish fulfillment coming up (not for several chapters yet, but it'll get here eventually). Not telling you what it is, but it's coming ;)

Nance: Unfortunately for Arthur, his main fighting force is composed of medieval redshirts ;p

* * *

Frankly, Gaius was glad to hear a tavern brawl had occurred in the Rising Sun and his services were needed. Not glad that people had been injured, of course- merely to have an excuse to escape the heavy atmosphere of the war council.

He had already provided his input as to what resources he would need so the remainder of the proceedings would pass well enough without him.

The guard who had delivered the message followed him back to his chambers, ready to help quell any further disagreements once the inebriated parties arrived with their escort. Topping the tower stairs, the bodies of two guards came into view slumped by the infirmary door.

Gaius' escort immediately motioned the physician back, drawing his sword and approaching the door with caution, opening it only to be knocked back by a dark-clad blur that disappeared down the hallway.

Giving a quick visual sweep of the room and finding no further suspicious persons, the guard gave chase, calling for reinforcements.

Gaius rushed into his workspace, soon spotting what he had feared- his ward laid out on the floor, unmoving.

"Merlin!" He crashed down beside the body, taking in the pale face and slightly blue lips before noticing the dagger pinning him to the floor. Thankfully, it was his left hand that had been pierced rather than something more vital.

He slapped Merlin gently, then more insistently, prompting a gasp and twitch before the younger man groaned and fell into proper sleep rather than unconsciousness.

The physician frowned, glad his boy was breathing but needing further answers. Making sure he had a firm grip on both weapon and appendage, Gaius pulled the blade out and began tending the wound as best he could with Merlin once more awake and struggling feebly.

"Hold still," he growled.

Waking a bit from his stupor, the servant complied.  
"Gaius? What happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me."

"Don't feel... right..." his gaze went out of focus and his eyelids drooped.

"What do you remember, Merlin?" Gaius shook his ward slightly, trying to keep him awake.

"Big... slug... thing..." he murmured, dropping off once more.

Warily surveying his chambers for signs of giant slugs, Gaius finished tying off the bandage on Merlin's hand just as his escort returned, out-of-breath and empty-handed.

"I'm sorry, Gaius; he got away. Is everything alright here?"

"No." He gestured to Merlin's prone form. "Help me get him on his bed."

The guard leapt forward to help, the two of them succeeding in getting the thin man situated before looking for further evidence of what had happened.

The body of Sir Berrick was soon found behind Gaius' privacy screen, but the only other clue to be found was the dagger. Not that there was any doubt who the real perpetrator was.

He had no idea how he'd missed it before, but there was a note impaled on the blade. The guard looked faintly ill as Gaius wiped off blood to reveal the simple message: _I know_.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Arthur chose that moment to make his entrance, sparing Gaius from answering. A good thing since he was entirely too shocked to do anything but stare.

"What's happened?"

The guard snapped to attention, quickly briefing his sovereign on what little they knew. That done, Arthur dismissed him to call two knights for the door and people to take care of the three bodies.

"How is he, Gaius?" The king asked, breaking the elder's reverie.

"I think he will be fine, Sire, but I'm not entirely certain what happened. He said something about a large slug."

Arthur frowned.  
"And what does that note mean?"

"I- I'm not certain. Perhaps she found out about his meeting with the traitor?"

"Hm. Perhaps."

Making his own sweep of the room and finding nothing further, the king helped Gaius up from the floor and into the back room where they both waited for Merlin to wake. The same thought echoed in both their minds.

_One of these days you'll be the death of me, Merlin._

* * *

...Earlier...

It had taken a little bit of searching, but he'd finally found her tucked away in a secluded cleft of a rocky hill.

"Kara," he greeted, hugging her tightly.

"Could you believe...?"

"No," they pulled apart slightly, each staring at the other.

"If it hadn't been you..."

"I know." Mordred shrugged his pack off and pulled out a few vials and bandages. "Your leg?"

"It isn't deep," she shrank back from his reaching hands.

"Let me see," he insisted, "I can treat it."

Kara let loose a breathy laugh.  
"You were never good at the healing arts, Mordred. Don't think I've forgotten the time you managed to give Coul boils instead of curing his palsy."

"That was different!" He'd only been a child then, carelessly using magic whenever a problem presented itself. "Emrys gave me these!"

"Emrys?" She exclaimed, disbelieving.

"He's a physician's apprentice, you know," he explained absently, focused on uncorking the brown bottle without spilling the contents.

Kara remained silent, absorbing the information. Morgana had long been in search of this "Emrys" and would no doubt give a reward for these hints to his identity. Still, she needed more- but would Mordred give it to her freely? Better to be cautious.

"You're a knight of Camelot."

"That doesn't matter," he replied, reaching for her injured leg once more.

"Why, Mordred?"

He sighed, setting the bottle aside for the moment and looking her in the eye.  
"Arthur is a good man."

"I can't believe you'd say that." _Arthur_ was a murderer, just like his father.

"You don't know him. He's The Once and Future King and... and he's my friend."

She gaped at him, ire rising.  
"Does he even know who you are? You are a _Druid_; you don't belong in Camelot!"

"I believe in Arthur. He will change things, you'll see."

She didn't accept that for even a moment, but also didn't want to upset Mordred further during what should be a happy reunion. Just a bit more...

"And this Emrys- you believe in him? Is it really the one from the prophecies?" She'd long since stopped believing in those children's stories herself.

"I'm certain of it. His magic... if only you could see it- _feel_ it!" He had a rapturous look on his face that made Kara feel faintly ill. "Arthur trusts him more than anyone- you remember he was the one to save me when first I came to Camelot?"

She did remember. At the time she had been envious that Mordred had met Emrys, but had dismissed it as the fancy of a child when she grew older.

"And does the _Pendragon_ know about the sorcerer by his side?"

His face fell at the venom in her voice and he bowed his head.  
"Sometimes it seems- but no, he doesn't know."

"You see? Even _Emrys_ does not trust him! How can you expect me to-"

"I don't. Not right away, at least," Mordred interrupted, placing calming hands on her shoulders and touching their foreheads together. "That is why I received permission to leave. I'll take you away, Kara. We'll be safe; we can be _happy_."

"Mordred..." she found herself melting before his hopeful face, blue eyes piercing to her very soul. If this was her chance to finally be content, she would take it- but not before making one final contribution to the cause.

Morgana would be pleased.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I really don't get ff's doc editor. For the past several chapters I've set everything up, made sure my formatting is correct, and posted only to find it had removed all of my italics. *heavy sigh* Whatever.

Anyway, I have made Merlin's reaction much more extreme since a) I thought it really should have been and b) the gean canach was allowed to do its thing uninterrupted in this timeline and thus took more. To make a comparison (that is a bit spoiler-y)- Merlin is like a laptop that has been unplugged and had its battery partially drained. Yes, he'll continue to function for a while, but the system will begin restricting features until the power ultimately runs out.

Nance: Morgana is a rather classic villain that way. Why just stab someone through the heart when you could tie them to a conveyor headed toward a compactor? Gives you more time to give a monologue and then leave the hero all alone to escape.

Though, really, I've noticed her attempts on Arthur are more straight-forward than the ones on Merlin. I like to think it's because she just wants Arthur out of the way and has lingering familial feelings about him (so she'll give him a cleaner, business-like death) whereas with Merlin it's personal and she wants him to suffer. I'm sure _other _people would say it's because she secretly wants Merlin to escape. Whatever your interpretation, it's interesting.

* * *

He woke slowly and reluctantly. His body felt heavy and weak. He had an unpleasant sensation of having been hollowed out somehow.

Upon opening his eyes he met the worried faces of Gaius and Arthur, who reacted in unison.

"How do you feel?"

"My face hurts and I've got a terrible taste in my mouth. Ugh," he shifted a bit, intending to massage his face with one hand but stopping the movement when he felt the pain and saw the bandage there. "What happened to my hand?"

"It was stabbed with a dagger. I'll get you something for that," Gaius rose and shuffled off to the main chamber.

"Do you remember who attacked you, Merlin?" Arthur inquired, not liking the dull look of his friend's eyes.

"All black, couldn't see 'is face." The servant grimaced and tried to reach the cup of water by his bed, Arthur helping when it became clear he couldn't do it himself. "Carried a box with... _thing _in it. Felt... bad. Not right." The memory of it clearly agitated him; his hands shook, the uninjured one clenching and unclenching, and his eyes had turned a bit wild, though still not as alert as Arthur would have liked.

"It's alright, you're safe now, Merlin." The king assured him, though he himself was feeling a bit disturbed. What was upsetting Merlin so much?

"Not right, not right..." Merlin murmured, falling asleep just as Gaius returned with the tea that was no longer necessary.

"I don't like this, Gaius. He seems... _off_."

The physician watched his boy twitch, heart twisting along with the blanket gripped in one pale hand.

"Then I had best get to work."

* * *

Arthur had never read so many books in his life. They covered every available surface as he, Gaius, and Guinevere searched for any mention of giant slug-like creatures.

Is this what it was always like? If so he would need to be more appreciative of those times when Gaius or Merlin just happened to figure out what creature or spell was at work. He never would have guessed it was so much work- or so tedious. Hours of slaving over weighty tomes had revealed nothing.

"Gaius!" A weak but panicked call sounded from the back room and the physician was off like an arrow, motioning for the royal couple to continue their research.

Arthur rose, intending to follow regardless, but was stopped by his wife's hand.

"Give them some space," she counseled, pushing a new book in front of him.

He frowned but complied, wishing Gaius had at least had the decency to leave the door open so he could eavesdrop.

* * *

"Merlin, how do you feel?" The elder smoothed back the younger man's hair, trying to calm him.

"It's gone, Gaius, gone!"

"Shhh. What's gone?"

The warlock's voice was a choked whisper, tears forming in his eyes.  
"_My magic!_"

Gaius sat heavily on the stool, barely avoiding landing on the floor. Without thought, his bad news slipped out.

"Morgana knows."

Merlin grew another shade whiter, and they both stared at each other in silence until the warlock gave a humorless chuckle and looked away.

"Why couldn't she have just killed me?"

"Merlin!" The physician was shocked. "How could you-"

"Without my magic I am _nothing_, Gaius. Arthur will die; Camelot will fall. It would have been kinder to kill me now." Another dark laugh. "I suppose that's why she didn't."

"Whatever this is, Merlin, you can't give in to despair. Even now we are searching for a solution- it will be easier now that I know the creature's purpose. You-"

"Just leave me alone, Gaius."  
He twitched slightly, trying to turn over but not having the strength.

"Merlin-"

"Leave!" He hissed, pressing his eyes closed since he couldn't turn his back.

Gaius reached out, wanting to comfort his ward but thinking better of it for the moment.

"We'll be just outside, Merlin. Call if you need anything."

There was no response, but he hadn't expected one. The physician retreated to his workbench with a heavy heart.

"Gaius?" The royal couple watched, worried by his reaction.

He gathered himself, putting together an explanation that didn't reveal his ward's secret.

"Whatever Morgana has done, she seems to have stolen a part of him- his... life force, if you will."

"What?" Arthur yelled.

"He's not dying, is he?" Guinevere had latched onto his arm with a painful grip.

Gaius opened his mouth to deny this, then considered the way Merlin hadn't even had the strength to move himself. Could he, the most powerful warlock ever, survive without that which he'd been born with?

"I don't know."

Guinevere let out a choked sob, then returned to her book with renewed vigor, soon finishing it and moving to the next.

Arthur and Gaius were pulled from their inaction by the sound of the book snapping shut. The king moved toward Merlin's room, this time halted by Gaius.

"He wants some time to himself."

The royal cursed, kicking his stool away and pacing angrily, pulling at his hair.

Retrieving the stool, he slammed it down.

"Which of these hasn't been checked?"


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: HI. *posts and runs*

* * *

Merlin jerked awake, gripping the bed frame tightly with his uninjured hand as the gaping chasm inside him threatened to swallow him whole. All he wanted was to go back to sleep and not feel it for a short time- not that his dreams had been much better- but Gaius' calls were getting hard to ignore.

"What do you want?" Honestly, people should just stop wasting their time on him. He had no worth anymore; he couldn't even lift his own arm for longer than a breath or two.

"I just want to talk." His mentor was speaking far more gently than usual, clearly attempting to mollify him.

_He thinks I'm angry._

The servant almost laughed at that. Still, talking was about all he _could _do at this point so he might as well.

"Come in."

The elder crept in as if wary of attack, a thick volume clutched in one arm.

"We've identified the creature."

Hope sparked in his breast for only a moment before he saw the look in Gaius' eyes. His mouth became too dry to respond.

"It is called a gean canach; a fearsome creature forged by the tears of the earth mother Nemaine. It devours the magic of others, draining them of their power."

"But it can be restored, yes?" He could read the answer on his surrogate father's face; still he pleaded.

Rheumy eyes shone with regret.  
"I'm sorry, Merlin. That is beyond my power; perhaps beyond anyone's power."

"What if we found the creature? Maybe we could..."  
Gaius was openly crying now, the sight breaking what little composure Merlin had scraped together.

He whimpered but once, eyes closing tightly as hot tears ran down his face which contorted in grief. He reached one arm toward his guardian and Gaius was there before it fell limply to the bed, gathering his boy in his arms and holding him tightly.

He cried himself dry, the physician's fierce embrace largely compensating for Merlin's inability to cling as he so desperately wanted.

"Does Arthur...?" He trailed off, sniffling. _Not as if it really matters now._

"No. I told him the creature had sapped your life force."

"What does that even mean?" Merlin gave a strained chuckle, trying to find some humor in the situation.

"Well, I made it up, but it feels accurate." Gaius tried to keep his tone light despite the bitter taste in his mouth.

The pair fell silent, slowly rocking back and forth without noticing. A soft knock sounded on the door.

Gaius startled, having forgotten Guinevere was still in the main chamber. Arthur had been called away some time past for the funeral of Sir Berrick. The king was unaware an identification had been made.

Gently, he laid Merlin back on the mattress, retrieving a spare blanket to prop him up and getting a nod of assent before bidding the queen enter.

"Pardon me, Gaius, but I just thought- well," she twisted her hands nervously, looking at the shuttered window. "What about the Cauldron?"

Merlin snorted.  
"And who would cast the spell to summon the goddess?"

Gwen's face fell.  
"Oh, Merlin, I'm so-"

"No, Gwen," he sighed. "_I'm_ sorry. It was a good suggestion; I just- argh." He pushed his head back to thump against the wall. "Why couldn't there be some lake that's actually a _source _of-"

He froze, eyes widening.

"Merlin?" Gaius prompted.

"The Crystal Cave."

"What?" Guinevere stepped forward, hopeful they were on the path to a solution.

"It is said to be the birthplace of magic," Gaius explained when Merlin continued to stare into space, thoughts running free, "but it's in the Valley of the Fallen Kings; that's dangerous even _without _Morgana's soldiers traipsing about. You won't stand a chance, Merlin."

"I'll need help," he muttered.

"I can take you," the queen offered, successfully pulling the warlock from his musings.

"Gwen, I know you're almost certainly better with a sword than I am, but that's just not possible." She made to argue, but he cut her off. "You are the queen now; even if I were willing to risk you, it's impossible for your absence to go unnoticed."

Guinevere frowned.

"But I do know another way you can help."


	15. Chapter 15

"We've been over this, Arthur. No one can see Merlin now. Gaius said he's very susceptible to disease and injury so he shouldn't be exposed to other people."

"Gwaine got to see him," Arthur sulked as his wife tightened a cinch on his spaulder.

"_Gwaine _is helping Gaius. You know he was only there for a moment before leaving to find that plant that might help Merlin."

The king sighed, grabbing his sword and thrusting it through his belt.

"Well he better hurry. The Saxon vanguard will be at the gates any day."

A siege had not been his first choice, but Leon managed to talk him into it since Merlin's advance warning had afforded them enough time to ensure the people's safety.

"I'm certain he will act with all due haste," the queen soothed, giving her husband's armor a final looking over.

He sighed, kissing her and resting their foreheads together for a moment before both straightened and moved toward the balcony, ready to deliver a speech to prepare their people for the impending assault.

* * *

Merlin was thoroughly displeased with the travel arrangements. He'd been bound to a horse in a manner which reminded him uncomfortably of his encounter with the dorocha.

Still, it was the most practical way to bring him along, useless as he was, and it was better than the wheelbarrow Gwaine had snuck him out in.

The aforementioned knight had kept up a steady stream of chatter, trying to distract his friend from the crushing despair that still threatened to overwhelm him. It had worked for the most part, but now they were nearing their destination and stealth had to become a priority.

He squeezed his lids shut against the wavering landscape, unwilling to admit that his sight and hearing had begun to fail, focusing on the warmth of the horse beneath him and Gwaine's supportive hand on his knee.

The hand disappeared without warning and Merlin was almost swallowed by panic. He opened his eyes, trying to differentiate the blurry forms shifting about him. A fight. Bandits or Saxons, he didn't know, but either way he heard none of it. For a moment he wanted nothing more than to just be killed off by one of their attackers, only the knowledge that Arthur needed his magic prompting him to nudge his mount away from the scuffle. It was some kind of miracle that the horse hadn't already run off on its own, speaking well of Camelot's horse-training skills.

It didn't take long for Gwaine to dispatch their attackers, the knight rushing to check on his companion who had thankfully been ignored.

Merlin felt hands on his face which then moved to check his body.  
_Why is he so frantic?_

Then he realized his friend had probably been speaking.

"Can't hear." He wasn't sure the words would be audible, but he felt the vibration in his throat so at least his voice was working.

His vision was filled with what he could barely identify as Gwaine's face, mouth opening and closing. Was Gwaine trying to get him to read his lips?

"Can't see... well," he mumbled, and felt a firm hand grasping his shoulder before the horse started moving again, faster than before. The spot of warm pressure on his knee was all that kept him grounded when the world went completely dark around him.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: A gift for all you peoples. You'll take it and you'll like it.

Nance: Yeah, I see Gwaine as someone who can easily get worked up about the things that really matter to him

* * *

Saxons.

He could only hope they had been a roving band rather than part of the army proper, but either way it was a bad sign to be finding them so close to the city walls. There had only been four so he'd made short work of them, but it was still a delay they couldn't afford. Making sure they weren't going to get up, Gwaine hurried to where Merlin and his horse had retreated.

"Merlin! Are you alright?" No one had gone near man or horse, clearly finding them no threat, but the knight had noticed his friend's condition steadily declining throughout the day.

"Merlin?" When no response came Gwaine gently gripped the younger man's face and turned it toward his own. Merlin's eyes were barely open, muscles slack. He checked for a pulse, happy to find it, then searched for further injury and found none.

"Can't hear." The voice was strained, but he was glad to hear it- not so much about what had been said. He'd heard stories about people losing their senses when- but no, that wasn't going to happen. He bent over and looked straight into Merlin's face, forming his words very deliberately.

"Are you alright?"

"Can't see... well."

Gwaine swore, gripping his friend's shoulder for reassurance before transferring the contact to one knee once he got the horse moving again. He was nearly running aside the beast, urging it along as fast as he dared on the uneven terrain. Merlin's time was running out.

He'd protested initially, not liking the implication, but now he was grateful Merlin had given him detailed directions when they'd first set off. They were close, so close. _Hold on, Merlin._

Any moment now the cave mouth should come into view; he slowed the horse, scanning the cliff face. Where is it?

His worry was reaching a climax when he caught a glimpse of white hair atop an over-large brown robe.

"Ho there!" Maybe this person knew where the cave was- he certainly _looked _as if he'd been living in the forest.

The bearded man glanced over his shoulder briefly before disappearing behind a boulder.

"Wait!" The knight jogged after him, Merlin's horse following on its own.

The man was nowhere to be seen, but before him was the cave he'd been seeking. _I'm sure I looked here but a moment ago._.. But that wasn't important now.

Securing the horse, Gwaine got Merlin out of the saddle and settled him over his shoulder. He wasn't sure if the servant was conscious, but he was breathing and for now that was enough.

"Hello?"

Sure, he was in the cave, but he had no idea what to do now.

"This way," a voice issued from a tunnel to his left and, having few alternatives, Gwaine followed.

* * *

It was warm. He hadn't even realized how cold he'd been until warmth flooded his veins.

He tried to roll over, planning on sleeping in and enjoying this rare sensation, when he found something was holding him still. His eyes snapped open, quickly taking in his surroundings.

Where was he? All he could see was rocks and- the Crystal Cave.

The situation came back to him at once and he sat up, shrugging off Gwaine's supportive arms. Was his magic back? His sight and hearing were and he felt much better than he had before, but he could sense it had yet to be fully restored.

"What happened?"

"I suspect you'd know better than I," the knight said, oddly quiet with a thoughtful look on his face. "I saw my father..." he looked away, "yours, too."

Merlin followed his friend's gaze to see Balinor waiting patiently, blue and glowing the way Uther's ghost had been.

"Merlin."

"Father."

"My son," he smiled.

"Are you here? Are you real?"

"Dead or alive? Real or imagined? Past or present? These things are of no consequence. All that matters is that you heed the words of your father who loves you. Do not let go, Merlin, do not give in."

"I have no reason to go on. Morgana has already won." He could sense Gwaine tensing behind him and realized he'd managed to forget the other man's presence. _Not that it matters now. He might as well know._

"Only if you accept defeat. But if you fight, if you let hope into your heart, Morgana cannot be victorious."

"What hope is there without my magic?"

Gwaine drew in a sharp breath and Balinor knelt.

"Merlin, you are more than a son of your father. You are son of the earth, the sea, the sky; magic is the fabric of this world, and you were born of that magic. _You are magic itself._ You cannot lose what you are."

An incredibly inappropriate curse echoed about the cavern which both Merlin and his father ignored.

"How do I find myself?"

"Believe, Merlin. Believe what your heart knows to be true. That you have always been, and always will be."

"Always will be?" He did _not _like the sound of that.

The apparition reached out a hand and pulled Merlin to his feet before gesturing toward a brightness deeper in the cave.

"Move towards the light; your destiny awaits. Do not be afraid- trust in what you are; trust in what will be."

"Thank you. For your help, your guidance," he felt tears in his eyes as he watched the ghost smile once more.

"I only offered a hand. You stand tall on your own two feet, Merlin; you always have done."

"As did you, father. I follow in your footsteps."

"Your journey has only just begun. You wield a power you cannot yet conceive of. Only in the heart of the Crystal Cave will your true self be revealed."

The two of them gazed at the light together for a short time before Merlin turned and hugged the older man.

"Goodbye, father."

"There are no goodbyes, Emrys, for I will always be. As _you _will always be."

Merlin turned to Gwaine, frozen in place from shock, and gave him a half-smile before waving and turning to step into the light.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: I thought you guys would like that ;)

Astarte and Nance: Many thanks :)

* * *

Maybe it shouldn't have been so surprising; he had always known Merlin had secrets.

Still, he'd had himself more than half-convinced his friend was actually a highly skilled spy hired by Uther to surreptitiously protect his son.

Though, in a way that was probably true- Uther simply hadn't realized he'd done so.

Magic itself... did that really mean what he thought?

As Merlin's form disappeared in the light the ghost turned to him, form flickering between that of his own father and Merlin's before settling on Balinor.

"So, Strength, what do you think of all this?"

"Not much," he said, not paying more than a sliver of attention to the apparition.

Balinor chuckled.  
"You are good for him."

A glowing blue hand settled on his shoulder and Gwaine met the ghost's eyes.

"Look out for him? He has a habit of over-thinking things and making himself miserable."

Gwaine snorted.  
"I've noticed that."

Silence fell, the knight's face growing troubled.

"What did you mean by 'he will always be'?"

A sad smile formed on the ghost's face.  
"It will be hard on him."

It certainly wasn't a straight answer, but it was enough. Gwaine's frown deepened and he was about to ask something else when the sound of Merlin stumbling out of the Cave's heart drew his attention.

"Merlin! How are you feeling?"

He looked overwhelmed, light clinging to him and dancing around his fingertips.

In answer, the warlock raised one loose fist, blowing into it and uncurling the fingers to release a luminous blue butterfly.

Gwaine's grin was brilliant, but paled in comparison to Merlin's beatific one.

They both laughed, the knight thumping his friend on the back with one arm and catching him with the other.

"Are you really okay with this, Gwaine?"

"Magic me up a pint and I'll let you know."

* * *

They stopped a few miles from the castle walls so Merlin could conjure a sufficiently exotic-looking flower which Gwaine treated with the utmost care, keeping up appearances by riding back into the city as if hell itself were on his heels.

Merlin, reveling in his newly-discovered power, turned himself invisible and used a spell to travel directly to his room.

He panicked for a moment when his appearance knocked a jar off his window, alerting the knights guarding his door and causing them to check. Thankfully he had not released his invisibility and the men didn't look too closely at the black-haired lump in his bed, instead deciding it was the wind and fastening his shutter before returning to their posts.

Slowly releasing the breath he'd been holding, Merlin took the spare linens out from beneath his blankets and tossed them under his bed, putting the rough horse-hair wig into his cupboard for future use. He had just gotten himself fully covered when his guards checked again, surprised to find him awake.

"Everythin' okay?" He slurred, trying to sound weak and sleepy.

The knight smiled at him and nodded, "Good to see you're alive, but you should go back to sleep, Merlin."

He pretended to comply, surprised at the care in the man's voice. Yes, he knew Sir Lamry; had gone on patrol with him many times and occasionally treated his injuries, but they had never really spoken before. It was oddly heartwarming.

He'd just magically removed his boots and exchanged his red tunic for the undyed one he slept in when a clangor erupted in the main chamber; Gwaine and Gaius preparing the 'cure'.

Merlin 'woke' slowly, struggling to maintain his frail image- something made more difficult by the winks and eyebrow waggles Gwaine directed at him as he and Sir Lamry helped him sit up to drink the unnecessary potion.

Actually, he wasn't even sure it was safe to drink, having been created from some odd plant he'd made up. He threw a worried glance in his mentor's direction and received a reassuring nod. Hopefully that meant Gaius had switched out the unknown flower for something harmless.

_Well, here we go..._

Gwaine tipped the cup and Merlin swallowed obediently, recognizing the taste of Gaius' weakest sleeping draught.

"He should sleep for a short time and wake up restored- if the potion worked." Gaius informed the room.

Merlin fell asleep with a smile on his lips.


	18. Chapter 18

It would have been irresponsible to rush out of the war council as soon as he heard Gwaine's horse charging into the courtyard, so Arthur contained his impatience as best he could.

Geoffrey was beginning to sweat under the weight of the king's gaze, and the table itself seemed to vibrate with the energy radiating from the sovereign. The moment the librarian paused to pull out a kerchief and mop his brow, Guinevere suggested they break for a meal and everyone was happy to agree.

Arthur was through the doors before she'd even called a servant to inform the kitchens.

* * *

"How is he?"

Gaius jumped at the suddenness of the king's presence, asking his question even as he came through the door.

"He is resting, Sire. We will know if it worked when he wakes up. It shouldn't be long."

"May I-?" He looked to the back room, at-once becoming too nervous to ask.

"Go ahead and sit with him, My Lord. Sir Gwaine is already there."

He nodded, acknowledging the two knights guarding the door and slipping inside quietly.

Gwaine was against one wall, picking globs of gum arabic from the sole of his boot. Apparently the bottle he'd previously noticed perched on the window sill had fallen and scattered its contents even further.

"Sir Gwaine. I trust your trip was uneventful?"

The knight grunted. "Four Saxons on the way out. Barely worth mentioning."

"Right." He dismissed that for the moment, taking a seat to watch Merlin sleep.

He looked leagues better already, a slight smile on his face as he shifted in his sleep.

Arthur smiled in return, losing track of time as he looked on and barely even noticing when Guinevere joined them.

When the servant began to mumble and stir in earnest, he found himself on the edge of his seat.

"Merlin?"

"Yeah?" The younger man popped one eye open, gazing sleepily at his master.

"How are you feeling?"

Merlin sat up, still appreciative of the ability to do so on his own.  
"Like I deserve a day off."

Arthur only let his grin grow a little before replacing it with his 'prat face'.  
"You've had quite enough of those lately... idiot," he tacked on the insult almost as an afterthought.

"I won't be sure until I examine him, but he should be able to return to work tomorrow," Gaius informed, entering the room to find his ward squirming as Gwaine rubbed his knuckles into the younger man's scalp.

"I'm so glad," Guinevere shooed Gwaine and pulled her friend into a hug. "You had us worried!" She whispered into his hair, squeezing tightly before releasing him.

"Good to be back, Gwen. I-"

The warning bells interrupted their little party, sending Arthur and Gwaine rushing to the corridor with the queen close behind.

Merlin didn't hesitate, pulling his boots back on and following after them, protesting guards in his wake.

The castle was in an uproar, servants and refugees poured into the keep as soldiers gathered in the courtyard.

Gaius disappeared into the crush, on his way to the temporary infirmary set up in the feast hall.

Merlin slipped into the council room just as Leon finished giving his report on Morgana's troops, which had just been spotted in the forest less than half a day's march away.

Arthur frowned in disapproval upon noticing Merlin's presence, but addressed Sir Leon.  
"We've prepared for this. Make sure everyone finds his post on the wall. We'll hold the lower town as long as we can before falling back to the citadel. Understood?"

"Yes, Sire!" Leon bowed and made his exit.

"Pleased as I am to see you can still walk, this is hardly the time, Merlin. Get back to your bed," he waved to Merlin's guards, only now catching up to their charge. "Take him back- and make sure he stays!"

"Arthur," Guinevere gently intervened, "why don't I bring him with me to the infirmary? He may be able to help if he's up to it, and if not it will be easier for Gaius to keep an eye on him."

He paused, conflicted, but gave in to his wife's reasoning.

"Very well. You two-" the pair of knights straightened at the attention, "go to Sir Leon and get your assignments."

"Yes, Sire," they bowed and followed after their senior knight.

Arthur turned to his wife.  
"Be safe."

One quick kiss for his spouse, a stern glance at Merlin, and he was gone.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: In true _Merlin_ fashion, I will be ignoring chronology in the coming conflict- mostly because I can. So there.

* * *

Morgana had arrived with her army, but for some reason had yet to attack with magic- which is how they had managed to hold the lower town three days thus far with few casualties for Camelot's forces.

Now, however, the Saxons had begun building siege engines; clearly buckling down for a more protracted fight.

"I want water bowls at regular intervals along the wall; any ripples and I want to hear about it immediately! Sir Leon, put together a small team to raid their camp tonight. We can deal with the siege towers as they come, but I don't want them using those trebuchets."

Arthur continued to rattle off orders as he walked the battlements, looking over the enemy's camp for signs of tunneling. That and the trebuchets were a major threat to the walls- the main thing keeping the much larger Saxon force from pouring into the city. As it was their force boasted five times the number of fighting men Camelot could field. The knights had done well enough concentrating their efforts at the gate, but if the wall was breached they would have to fall back to the citadel and leave the lower town to be ransacked.

Siege towers would also cause problems, but they could be more easily neutralized by fire as they were wheeled toward the walls than the trebuchets which would stay out of range if their operators have any sense.

"Perhaps we should make a sally," Percival suggested. "If we can make it to their camp we'd have a chance to destroy all of their engines at once."

"No," the king shook his head emphatically, "it's not worth the risk. Besides, if the sabotage goes off well they won't even realize there's a problem until they try to use them. Far better that way."

"And maybe we can steal some of their mead while we're over there," Gwaine added. "I wasn't made to live on such a small ration."

Eyes rolled.

"Forget it, Gwaine, and stop complaining. We all know Merlin's been giving you his share."

The rogue sulked and was about to reply when an explosion rendered them all briefly blind and deaf.

Once they regained their bearings everyone gathered on the edge of the battlements, mouths agape at the flames that had engulfed a large section of the surrounding forest- including part of the Saxon's camp.

"What the hell?"

* * *

_...Earlier..._

Merlin sighed, tapping the pommel of Excalibur against his forehead repeatedly as he fought with himself.

He knew sending Aithusa away would only distract Morgana for so long- had been surprised it had taken her from the field for the first two days, actually- but he had hoped he wouldn't have to do this. However, there was no one else who could.

Morgana. How had it all gone so far awry? It felt like yesterday he had wandered into her chambers with a sleeping draught only to be mistaken for Guinevere and now he was preparing to murder her- again.

"Augh! Don't think of it that way- you're simply... defeating her. Yes. Much better."

Though, privately, he had often thought of the Morgana he knew as dead- gone the moment she realized he'd poisoned her.

"Need some help?" Gwaine appeared in the doorway, trying to look nonchalant with an uncharacteristically serious face.

Merlin failed to hide his tortured expression before the knight was at his side.

"You're thinking about her, aren't you."

Both of them knew it wasn't really a question.

"I have to go after her, Gwaine. This will never end if I don't."

"Does it have to be you?"

Merlin nodded, unable to hold his friend's pained gaze.

"How can I help?"

A bitter smile tugged at his lips as he replied.

"If Arthur asks, don't tell him I'm in the tavern."


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Here we are, the great confrontation. Different from what most or all of you were expecting, I believe, but I hope you enjoy it regardless ;)  
Probably no updates until Sunday at least as I will be away for the weekend; try not to get too restless.

Nance: I had to contain myself lest it become completely incomprehensible, but some more will probably find its way into future chapters ;p

* * *

He left in haste, wanting to be gone before his resolve weakened, only pausing to hug Gaius and tell Gwen he was going. The queen clearly wanted to object, but realized there was no help for it.

"You be careful," she commanded, pulling his head down and pressing a chaste kiss to his brow.

"When am I ever not?"

His cheeky grin didn't fool her in the least, but she did her best to smile in return.

He retreated to an abandoned corridor, performing his newly-acquired trick of turning invisible and transporting himself.

* * *

The Saxon camp was abuzz with activity. Men came from the forest bearing great logs with which to build their siege engines whilst those in the camp cut and fitted them. He had landed in the midst of a stockade, barrels of sulfur being one of the supplies- judging by the light yellow powder leaking from one stack.

Merlin shuddered. Gaius used sulfur on occasion to treat skin conditions, but it was a highly dangerous substance. Heat it into gas form or disperse it into the air and it could cause serious damage- not to mention its corrosive effect when combined with moisture and air. The Saxons likely planned to launch it into the city using their trebuchets.

A commotion at the edge of camp drew his attention. Morgana was riding out alone; this was his chance.

He crept after her as silently as he could; grateful that she was moving slowly despite being on horseback.

They didn't go far, just enough for the chaos of the camp to fade to background noise, before she stopped and left her mount to graze as she strode into an open meadow. She tilted back her head and stared into the sky.

"Aithusa!"

Merlin was startled by the pain and pleading in her shout. He knew the dragon would not appear without his call, but for a moment he wanted to... _No. You came here for a purpose, now fulfill it._

He took one hesitant pace forward- and stepped on a twig.

"Who's there?" Morgana swung about, one hand raised threateningly as she snarled.

The warlock took a fortifying breath before walking into the open.

"You?" The witch laughed and Merlin bristled. "Even without your pitiful magic you _still _come running to your death?"

"And what makes you think I don't have my magic?"

The confidence in his tone gave Morgana pause, but she appeared to recover quickly. Still, Merlin could see a hint of the fear he'd witnessed when he'd raided her hut in aged form.

"You can't bluff your way out of this, _Emrys_. The time for talk is long past." Her eyes flashed, magic reaching out to fling him back- but he was ready.

His magic responded without need for verbal direction, forming a blue shield in front of him that dispersed the attack.

"How!" Her eyes flashed, grass and flowers flying into the air and shredding in reaction to her anger.

"Morgana, it doesn't have to be like this. We can find another-"

This time she did surprise him, sending his body flying some distance down the path- the camp becoming visible through a thin screen of trees.

"I told you before. There _is _no other way!"

"No, the time for all this blood shed is over."

"Shut _up_, Merlin!"

She sent wave after wave of force, each one stronger than the last. His shield held easily, but his feet did not have enough purchase and he skidded backward.

Soon they reached the edges of the camp, breathing roughened by exertion both physical and emotional.

The Saxons were beginning to notice them, ceasing their work to watch the confrontation. Their presence distracted Merlin just enough for Morgana to start another barrage, but this time he deflected it to the side. Wood splintered behind him and he turned, horrified to see clouds of pale yellow dust billowing into the air.

Meanwhile Morgana had grown tired of their game.

"**Forbærne! Ácwele!"**

Her cry summoned an uncomfortably familiar fireball that made his chest seize for more than one reason.

"Morgana- no!"

Too little, too late. The sulfur in the air ignited, flames shooting into the sky and blinding all nearby. The fire fed off the atmosphere and spread through the forest, roaring as it consumed trees, grass... and the Saxon camp.

Merlin coughed and wheezed, having inhaled some of the sulfur despite the protective second skin his magic had instinctively formed about his body.

"Morgana!"

He could barely hear his own cry, ears damaged and ringing slightly, but that was probably a good thing judging by what little he could discern of the pained shrieks coming from the rest of the camp.

It was entirely too bright, and the warlock resorted to closing his eyes and fumbling about with arms outstretched- following the pull of Morgana's magic.

He found her collapsed on a scorched section of earth, dress and hair singed but for the most part whole.

She glared at him spitefully, rising slowly. She faltered a bit- perhaps there was some injury he could not see? It mattered little either way.

Morgana sneered as he drew Excalibur.  
"I am a High Priestess. No mortal blade can kill me."

"I blame myself for what you've become... but this has to end." Merlin's look of pity only enraged her further as the blade pierced her chest.

She wanted to laugh, but quickly realized her mistake and turned panicked eyes toward her doom.

The sight was a painful reminder of the first time he'd killed this woman, but he had to press on.

"This is no mortal blade. It was forged in a dragon's breath."

He caught her as she fell, holding on until the end.

"Goodbye, Morgana."

Merlin stood and withdrew Arthur's sword, cleaning the blade before thrusting it through his belt.

He sighed, feeling a new lightness in his soul.

"It's over."


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: I wrote a little one anyway ;)

Nance: Haha... no sympathy at all :D

* * *

_"It's over."_

Well, that particular battle was. The flames, however, continued to ravage the countryside.

Spreading his arms and taking a deep breath, he formed a wall of magic around the blaze and gradually pulled it in toward himself. Merlin became the center of a column of fire reaching far into the sky. Having no other way to douse the conflagration that wouldn't cause further damage, he took another breath before eliminating the air that fueled it. What little vegetation remained in the small circle surrounding him continued to burn for a brief time, then fizzled out.

He waited a few heartbeats to be certain, then released the barrier and coughed several times before managing to refill his lungs.

_Cursed sulfur. Speaking of..._

Once more reaching out with his magic, Merlin gathered what powder remained and brought it together into one crystal, tucking the fist-sized hunk inside his jacket.

His hearing was beginning to clear now, and he really wished it wouldn't. The screams had died down, but the moaning and pleas for relief were almost worse.

_They're the enemy Merlin, you can't go around trying to heal them all- besides, you can hardly see straight._

Which was true, but surely the latter would clear up once he stopped wheezing and maybe rested a bit.

Seeing that everything was clear, the rest of the Saxon army had begun moving in to help their fellows; it was time for Merlin to be gone. Still, one last thing...

As the warlock's form disappeared, a gentle rain began to fall.

* * *

"Merlin!"

The servant froze, heart thundering so fast he could hear blood pulsing in his ears. He had forgotten to turn invisible before transporting himself back to the castle! Had someone seen?

"Are you alright?"

It was Gwaine. He grew weak-kneed with relief, first leaning against the wall and then sliding down the floor.

"Merlin?" The knight had rushed forward, kneeling in front of his friend and grasping his shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm alright," he waved aside the knight's probing fingers. "Just... I think I'll rest a moment."

"Take your time."

Gwaine sat on the floor beside him, waiting patiently as Merlin regained his breath and strength. He had done a great deal of magic that day, but already he was beginning to feel as normal. Frankly, it frightened him. Just how powerful had he become?

"Want to talk about it?"

Merlin turned grateful eyes on his friend, a sad half-smile on his lips.  
"Not just yet."

The rogue nodded, returning to his study of the opposing wall.

Merlin sighed. He was reluctant to disturb this moment of peace, but the war was not yet won and his work was far from complete.

"Well come on, then. Don't think I'll let you use me as an excuse for abandoning your duties." He winked at Gwaine, hauling himself upright and heading back to the infirmary.

"Ah, that was only one time-"

"Per week."

Gwaine laughed, not bothering to dispute that claim.

They traveled in silence the rest of the way, atmosphere growing heavy. They paused at the door to the hall, the sound of Gaius and his helpers bustling about filtering through the wood.

"Are you going to tell him?" Gwaine's voice was low and earnest.

Merlin simply smiled and went inside.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Ugh, so sleepy... but I'm back! :)  
Wanted to wrap everything up in this chapter, but the Saxons insisted on being difficult.

Nance: Stop poking the muse! The story is long enough already! ;)

* * *

Upon returning to his quarters, Arthur was surprised to find his sword laid out on the table. It had disappeared the first day of the conflict and he'd thought Merlin's replacement had managed to lose it as it hadn't been found despite sending several men to help the poor servant in his search. The incident had briefly made him regret specifically requesting someone other than George be the stand-in.

Puzzled but grateful to have it returned, he caressed the hilt and spotted a note beneath the pommel. The handwriting was atrocious, but he eventually managed to read it.

_Many thanks for the use of your sword; it has been put to good use.  
Morgana shall trouble you no longer._

To confirm this claim, a familiar dagger accompanied the missive. A long lock of black hair was tied around the handle.

Arthur stared at the weapon he had given his half-sister all those years ago, completely uncertain how he should be feeling. Sad? Elated? Both of them probably lurked beneath the numbness that overtook him.

Guinevere found him some time later, still staring in mute shock.

Looking at the items in front of him, her brow furrowed and she frowned before pulling her husband into a hug. She cried for both of them, tears of relief and tears of mourning.

* * *

The Saxons lost a significant amount of both men and supplies in the explosion, but still outnumbered Camelot's soldiers three-to-one. Not having enough food to retreat made them more desperate to take the city, and the attacks grew more vicious as the siege continued.

An attempt to bring down the wall with a tunnel was foiled when ripples in the water bowls revealed the mining efforts. The knights had dug a counter-tunnel and fought them off, but that created an additional entry-point to be guarded.

Enough of the forest had been burned that it became impractical for the invaders to rebuild their destroyed siege engines. Their surviving wood went into a battering ram- protected by a hide-covered roof designed to repel fire arrows and other attacks from the walls.

Guinevere stayed up all night directing the kitchen staff in boiling oil and pitch which was then poured down on their attackers from the battlements. Not only did this splash and scorch the men pushing the ram, it also ruined their footing and made it impossible for them to charge the gates with sufficient speed. They were forced to abandon it when the the mixture was set alight and they couldn't retreat fast enough to save the wood.

On the seventh day of the siege, the tunnel collapsed. The guards had fought hard, but the Saxons managed to destroy enough support beams to start a cave-in. Men were lost on both sides, and a small section of the wall was weakened. It did not, thankfully, collapse; but it would take little effort to bring it crashing inward. Arthur ordered three buildings by the spot torn down to shore it up- two homes and a tailor's. He sent his regrets to the owners (safe in the citadel) and promised to rebuild.

The attackers were silent for two days after that, seeming to be out of ideas.  
The round table met to discuss the next course of action.

"I say we go out and meet them."

"Patience, Gwaine. They still have at least double our force- and we would have to leave some behind to guard the castle. It would be foolish to fight at such a disadvantage."

"Why don't we lure them in?"

Everyone at the round table turned to stare at Percival, half shocked that he had spoken and half anticipating the explanation.

"What if we make it look like we've retreated to the Keep, but set up ambushes in the lower town?"

Arthur looked contemplative.  
"It has its merits, but there's no guarantee they'll go straight to the castle; there will be too much ground to cover and they'd have opportunity to loot the town."

"What if we built barricades?"

"Sir Leon?"

"If we block off the streets we can guide their route. The trouble will be preventing them from getting suspicious and retreating before we can trap them."

"Yes..." the king tapped the table absently, staring into space as he considered the plan. "I think we can make it work. Where should we herd them to?"

The war council went well into the night before the men set to work stacking up barrels and wagons, crates and debris; each man hoping the next day would be the last they spent with enemies at their door.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: This is not as climactic as a lot of you seem to be expecting... umm... well, hope you enjoy it anyway!  
Probably only one wrap-up chapter after this.

* * *

Merlin had spent the past several days helping where he could without being noticed- though Gwen's corroboration greatly increased the good he could do.

The Saxons found themselves unable to sleep properly, strange and frightening noises unsettling them at night whilst insects and rodents harried them and their dwindling food supplies. The boiling of the oil, though it still took many hours, was greatly sped up by his magic, which also kept it at temperature during and some time after the attack with the battering ram.

He _had _been making sure the tunnel wouldn't collapse, but after foolishly wearing himself down working in the infirmary and providing magical support with little rest or sustenance he had passed out and lost hold of the spell. It was pure chance this was the same time their besiegers chose to make a concerted effort on the supports, otherwise they might have held. Guinevere had quite a time talking him out of spelling himself awake until the conflict ended, barely managing to get him to see sense. After all, it was his drive to keep going that had caused the problem to begin with.

It had been days since Merlin had properly seen Arthur, who had been staying in the lower town all day and night whilst he himself lived in the infirmary. On the second quiet night, however, the king had returned to the castle and Merlin was present for the Round Table meeting, silently plotting his own supportive action in the background. Hopefully this would mark the beginning of a true and lasting peace.

* * *

Day ten of the siege, the Saxons rose to find their victims had fled in the night; abandoning their lookout posts and drawing back into the inner city. Their own scouts reported no signs that any of the defending force remained, but they had yet to actually breach the gates.

Understandably cautious, yet also in desperate need of proper food and shelter, the invaders had left a third of their force outside the walls as the remaining number – not quite twice that of Camelot's army – broke down the gate and poured into the abandoned streets.

They soon discovered that the main avenue had been blocked by the retreating force- nothing unusual. The soldiers took a side road which, after a short time, was also barricaded. Under normal circumstances they would have hesitated before advancing two at a time through the narrow alleyway that was the only open route, but today they did it without thinking.

The force was so spread out those in front didn't even notice when shadowy figures began picking off the stragglers from above. They did, however, see the town square ahead- and that all the exits were obstructed.

Thinking it nothing more than a delaying tactic to give their enemies time to fortify the castle, they continued marching until most of them were within the square, a few intrepid souls beginning to dismantle the barricade blocking the main road- until a flaming arrow caught their attention.

"We'll give you one chance to surrender," Arthur announced, posing regally atop a thatched roof with crossbow at the ready.

Some, mainly those who realized their entrance point had been blocked by red-cloaked knights, looked ready to take that offer, but the loudest among them shouted their rejection and threw themselves into the fight.

It was a massacre.

Camelot's bowmen took down most of the penned aggressors before they even managed to mount a proper counter-attack. Those who attempted to escape were dispatched by the knights on the ground.

Not a single Saxon survived.

The knights had a brief rest after taking care of their wounded, then turned to mount their offense against the enemy camp. What they found, however, was a surprising repeat of earlier events.

The bivouac was once more aflame, but this time the cause was evident.

A small white dragon was soaring above, occasionally spouting fire to scorch the already-destroyed campsite. Upon catching sight of the red-swathed warriors, the creature roared and flew off in the direction of the white mountains.

Arthur, thoroughly astounded, could do little but lead his men home when a torrential downpour came from nowhere to douse the flames.

* * *

Merlin was rather satisfied with himself.

The confusion charm- a weaker version of the one that had made Arthur a simpleton- had been more effective than he had expected, keeping anyone from being suspicious as Arthur and his men enacted their ambush.

Aithusa had been all too happy to let out her feelings by annihilating the Saxons who remained outside the walls and, while he felt bad about the deaths, he was glad his actions helped keep Camelot's losses to a minimum.

He was almost as glad to finally get a proper meal, bath, and night of sleep.

_Only one thing left to do._


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Here we are at the end. Yes, the end. I'm leaving it there (Mwahahahahaha!)  
I was going to write more, but it just felt right to end there and since that meant less work for me, all the better!

Now I can get back to a certain nearly-complete collection and maybe start a much-demanded sequel ;)

A Fellow Reader: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed, and I hope you don't throw anything at your screen when you read this mini-chapter, haha... *hides*

* * *

"Not that I didn't enjoy the chance to show my prowess, but why didn't you just... smite them all or something?"

"Really, Gwaine?" Merlin gave him a disbelieving look.

"I know, I know- not really your style. Would've been pretty great, though..."

The warlock rolled his eyes and turned away.

"There's that, but..." he sighed. "I knew Arthur and Camelot had to win this victory by their own merits. There's not much to be proud of in having someone else do your work."

Gwaine refrained from pointing out that that is what Merlin had more or less been doing all along- in both official and unofficial roles.

The pair sat in silence for a few more moments, watching a bird pick at the mortar around Gwaine's window.

"Well, no time like the present." Merlin hauled himself off the floor where he had shared a celebratory drink with his friend. There had been an official announcement of victory with accompanying feast the previous day, but this was in celebration of _Merlin's_ efforts. Gwaine also thought it might make the next part a bit easier.

"Are you sure? We haven't even started on the ale yet!" The tone was light, but his eyes betrayed concern.

The servant smiled softly at him.  
"I'd rather have my wits about me, thanks."

Gwaine nodded, and the two clasped arms.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"You just stay here and enjoy my portion- like you have all week," he kicked the knight's foot playfully. "I'll see you later."

"I'll hold you to that!" Gwaine called as his friend retreated.

Merlin closed the door and hurried down the corridor, not willing to give himself opportunity to over-think this and back out. He was telling Arthur, and he was doing it _now_. He hadn't even informed Gaius of his plans, afraid he might be talked out of it as he had been so many times before.

Given the gravity of the situation, he felt it appropriate to knock before entering- not that he waited for permission to enter.

Something in his face must have given away his intentions because Gwen rose from the table and embraced him lightly, squeezing his shoulders in support before excusing herself. Arthur watched the exchange with puzzlement.

"Arthur, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time..."


End file.
